March has been an excellent month for books!! ❤ Four strong female authors (three of them Christian, two of them counselors) writing books that sharpen and strengthen people - I hope and plan to join them in a few years! =)
1. All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore
I adore Beth and have for years now - her heart for God, her humor and compassion, and her grace under fire! A Covid meme I loved read: "God was upset someone told Beth Moore to go home, so He made us all go home." lol I was so thrilled to join the live book club Crowdcast meeting with her and Mel and Sophie tonight - it did not disappoint!! ❤ .....Anyway, much like Beth's actual life story, this book starts off a little rough but builds into something magnificent, beautiful, brilliant, and God-honoring! I wasn't connecting with the first couple chapters, but that changed quickly, and by the end, I was laughing, crying, and talking to her while I listened to her read the audiobook -- lots of Amens and "YES, Beth!" lol Her story includes childhood trauma and incestual sexual abuse; an unstable mother and an evil, abusive father who put on a good show in church; a visceral panic attack when a ministry-related conversation caused her buried memories of abuse to rise up... followed by months of mental health struggles and intensely personal healing work with God; walking with loved ones as they wrestled with serious mental health issues - compassion and empathy just flow from her there; a personal account of her walk with Jesus and a few of the resulting Bible studies and books she has authored; and, of course, her experience and the aftermath of being berated, bullied, and belittled by a power-hungry, Bible-study-burning religious mob after eloquently confronting evangelical leaders who excused and trivialized sexual assault in order to retain their power within the church and/or politics.
Favorite Quote: “In my admittedly limited understanding, ‘boys being boys’ who grab girls by their genitals are boys being boys committing acts that are criminal. Sexual immorality is one thing; this moved into the realm of sexual criminality... Most either remained silent or actually offered excuses. My own brothers in the faith... I thought about my story and hundreds of others I had heard. I thought about how maddeningly difficult it is to get people who haven’t been victimized to care, to comprehend the reverberating repercussions of the actions of those who think they have the right to force themselves on another. The audacity it takes to joke about it like it’s nothing. Like we’re nothing. ...I had lived too long now to buy the lie that keeping your mouth shut protects the family’s interests. No. It doesn’t. A family that provides a safe space for abusive people to remain unrepentant and unchanged and unaccountable is already shattered... I wanted to use what God-given influence I had to come alongside others in making [the sense of superiority that was leading to intensifying racism and sexism] right. Part of a shift - not toward liberalism, for crying out loud - toward Christlikeness.” ~Beth Moore (from Chapter 20)
This "live book club" experience was so much joy and fun - along with some poignant, sacred moments - I just love them all!!
2. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
(Spoiler alert) - This one was recommended on a podcast and by Sarah Elizabeth. The cutesy book cover had me expecting some lighthearted chick-lit silliness. Then the story began with a female graduate student being raped by her supervisor and then fired and dismissed by authorities when she tried to report it - yikes, that caught my attention. It took me a while to figure out how the book cover had anything to do with what's inside, but it's the pencil in her hair (a tool she used to fight back while being assaulted, then she often kept a pencil in her hair through the remainder of the story - I liked that). This story is set in the 1960s, but the main character, Elizabeth, is living by today's societal values (many of which are not aligned with Christian values, as we know). As an intelligent chemist and a single mom with big dreams, she faced rampant sexism from men and women alike. She formed a few solid friendships and eventually used her demoted role to become a leader whose confident voice empowered stay-at-home moms to see the value in their daily work and to believe in their own personal value. I loved those elements of this book, along with how she weaves in metaphors that compare scientific and relational chemistry. There were mini-speeches on atheism and evolution that I disagreed with, but it was still interesting and worthwhile to hear this author's perspective on those topics. Overall, I appreciate and applaud her book debut!
Favorite Quote: “'Often the best way to deal with the bad,' she said, feeling for her pencil, 'is to turn it on end—use it as a strength, refuse to allow the bad thing to define you. Fight it. ...Whenever you feel afraid, just remember courage is the root of change, and change is what we're chemically designed to do... Do not allow your talents to lie dormant, ladies. When you go home today, ask yourself what YOU will change. And then get started.'” -Elizabeth Zott (via Bonnie Garmus)
3. Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene Brown
The third book I've read by Brene, and it was my favorite so far! She writes about finding the courage to stand apart from the crowd, speaking up for your beliefs and values rather than people-pleasing in order to fit in. And she writes about the power of true belonging -- feeling an embodied, internal sense of belonging and purpose (something I have in Christ), and forming authentic connections with people who love you enough to stick around through difficult conversations (I have a few of those friends and treasure them).
Favorite Quote: "True belonging is not passive. It's not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It's not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it's safer. It's a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are. We want true belonging, but it takes tremendous courage to knowingly walk into hard moments.” ~Brene Brown
4. Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety & Compassion to Move Through Hard Things & Experience True Flourishing by Aundi Kolber
This is the second wonderful book I've read by Aundi, a Christian counselor who is my age. I love her gentle wisdom, and I learned a lot about the differences in situational strength vs. transitional strength vs. integrated strength... and how we need each of these in different seasons of life. Sometimes we get stuck in intense situational strength for too long and need help to move through trauma and return to a softer, integrated strength. She offers some practical tips about emotional regulation and growth. And she emphasizes the importance of building safe connections and staying in our "window of tolerance." She is a gifted, trauma-informed therapist and author, so several of her stories and suggestions feel helpful to me as a counselor-in-training. I enjoyed this book, and I feel thankful to have read it at this point in my school journey!
Favorite Quote: "The resilience is in the repair - not the wounding... Ultimately, our tethering to love, hope, and safety is what makes us truly strong... In this space, we feel pain, but we are not swallowed by it. Love, hope, and safety allow us to leverage, risk, and face hard things from a place of resourcefulness that is unavailable to us in survival mode."
*This month was also the first time that I had already read one of the assigned reading books for school in my Crisis & Trauma class: The Body Keeps the Score. Hooray for that!
I am extra thankful today for the way vulnerability and courage combine to create books that shape our lives and help us grow. Happy Tuesday, friends!
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