After weeks of being fully caught up, I got three new transcript orders yesterday afternoon! And I have a fair amount of school work to do by Sunday. So naturally, I am here... because I was writing a blog in my head while getting ready for work this morning, which means it feels urgent in my mind, like it needs to be written down before I forget it. lol Such is my life. I'm giving myself a time limit this morning.
This is the only picture I have of me, Judge Golden, and Laura Allison. On this day last year, he took us to lunch at the end of my last Jury Term in Creek County... (the day after I learned I got the job here and submitted my resignation letter and told my closest friends about my upcoming move). *This pic was going to mildly tie into a second subject I planned to cover in this post, but I ran out of time. lol
I'm on a time crunch, so I'm jumping right into this...
The vast majority of the men I have known in my personal life are GOOD men -- genuine, generous, fun, wise, and encouraging. They use their God-given strength/authority to protect and uplift the women and children in their lives. They matter deeply to me, and I am truly grateful to know them! I am better for it.
Unsurprisingly, they shine brighter to me as they help to counterbalance the massive damage I've seen elsewhere. They stand in stark contrast to most of the men I've seen in our courtroom. Broken, arrogant, destructive men who use their physical strength to intimidate, to threaten, to abuse, to molest, to rape, to be violent and emotionally abusive with the women and children in their lives. Men who are the very definition of toxic masculinity, although I prefer not to call it masculinity at all. As the keeper of the court exhibits, I have seen many graphic photos of women who have been beaten bloody or strangled or stabbed, of children who have been abused or assaulted or raped. Domestic abuse and child molestation make up a disturbing number of the cases on our criminal docket... and I am verrrry aware that the cases that get reported and make it to court reflect a small percentage of the actual incidents occurring. I have watched so many young girls courageously testifying against the perverse men who forever altered their sense of safety and innocence. My heart goes out to them... I can feel their pain, hypervigilance, and sometimes misplaced embarrassment. I want so much to help them believe that none of it was their fault. I've listened to firsthand accounts from children, teenagers, and grown women of how abusive men have violated, hurt, and traumatized them. I've seen the tears, the anger, the fear, the lasting pain, and the emotional conflict it creates when they still feel protective love for their abuser. And I will undoubtedly hear and see more of that in my future career as an LPC.
Of course, I have also listened to and learned from Beth Moore and Joyce Meyer, both survivors of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of their own fathers, men they should have been able to trust deeply. These stories get to me. For obvious reasons, it bothers me that much more when it's men who claim the name of Christ... or worse yet, men who hold leadership roles within the church. It makes me thankful for the justice and vengeance of God - something I try to rest in when I feel myself getting too riled up over certain cases (or situations closer to me).
Aundi's book talked a lot about how people need LOVE, SAFETY, and HOPE in order to heal from trauma. It makes sense to me that children in broken family systems where they are not heard or protected or treated with dignity would struggle to find those things and heal from abuse. And it makes the light of Jesus that much more important and transformative. When our identity is deeply rooted in Him, we grow to feel an embodied sense of love, safety, and hope that holds strong even when people fail us -- knowing He is always with us, nothing can separate us from His love, and we have an unshakable hope ahead no matter what happens here on earth!
I am grateful that I am not a survivor of abuse, but I want to do everything in my power to advocate for, support, strengthen, and empower the women and men who have been victimized to find safety, real love, and hope! I empathize and care very deeply, and I'm thankful that I'll be able to offer more help as a counselor. This is all part of the reason that I teared up watching the hall-of women supporting the rape survivor on Grey's Anatomy. And it's the main reason it is so infuriating and repulsive to me when powerful men who casually claim the name of Christ when it serves them turn right around and misuse their powerful positions, speaking viciously and behaving in a way that further empowers abusers and degrades trauma survivors. The name of Christ should always represent a true strength that brings love, safety, hope, and healing.
"Look at My servant, whom I strengthen. He is my Chosen One in whom I delight... He will not crush those who are weak or quench the smallest hope. He will bring full justice to all who have been wronged." Isaiah 42:1-3
Mmm, that's all the time I budgeted for today. lol We clearly live in a society that tends to glorify strong performance and winning over strong character and empathy. That's unlikely to change any time soon. Still, within my growing scope of influence, I want to be sure to notice, celebrate, esteem, and honor good men who use their strength to protect rather than intimidate... men whose lives and leadership strategies better reflect the heart of Christ... men who cause those with less power to feel loved and safe and hopeful about the future!! ❤
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