APRIL 2023!

 QUOTE OF THE MONTH:

"Without effort, your talent is nothing more than unmet potential.
Enthusiasm is common; endurance is rare.
There are no shortcuts to excellence!"
~Angela Duckworth, Grit

Victories, Big and Small:

• I completed my most challenging school semester ever - hooray!!
• Nearly done with my required counseling sessions... (didn't have much to talk about at first, but it's gotten better).
• I asked for help when I needed it and asked for second opinions when I needed them.  (God, friends, and family came through repeatedly.  And Missy, the kids' counselor, who helped me out with a last minute LPC interview project!)
• Improved at pressing into the hard things instead of procrastinating!
• Interviewed and was accepted with two Practicum/Internship sites - yay!  Chose the best fit for my goals.

Partial Successes/Areas for Improvement:

• WW was on point 3 out of the 4 weeks in April, but you can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time with sugar.  My May plan is daily tracking and limiting sweets to one day a week.
• I want to improve at thinking on my feet and not having panicked brain fog when I get an unexpected question.

Memories:

• Not pictured:  Lots of rain and a few tornado alarms this month.  Wednesday walks and Hideaway dinner with Kristin!  Miss K's volleyball games starting back up. J&C moving back here from Texas.  Several CCU role plays and group projects.  Helping Sarah Elizabeth with her CV and essays for the CRNA program.  Lots of good talks with friends.
• April Pics, Part 1 = CAVA and catching up with my Tulsa besties.  Tulip Farm with Rach and the niece and nephews.  Easter dinner in the Wilsons' backyard (*the Youngs were also there but won't fit in a square pic). Miss K's Presidential Tea.  Gaillardia Easter brunch and lots of Avengers talk with Jaceman.  Attending the CHA Easter program for the first time in years.

• April Pics, Part 2 = Red Rock with the Tulsa crew. Parker Elizabeth's 2nd birthday party!  Lunch and pondering a freelance career change with Jenni. Quail Creek dinner with Mom's cousins and my cousins.  Tman's 16th birthday.  Interviews with Debra (Restore) and Shawn (New Vision).

Listened To:

• The three audiobooks mentioned HERE
• The usual podcasts + Craig's Leadership Podcast & the Big Boo Patreon podcast =)

Lessons Learned:

• From personal experience - Traumatic grief sometimes manifests as aggression and impatience... there may be A LOT more to the story than we realize at first impression.  An important thing to remember for counseling.
• From Chet - I already bring more counseling strengths to the table than I was giving myself credit for... Sometimes you have to have the courage to change course... And the answer is always no if you don't ask!
• From Jill (my counselor) - Trust your gut instinct and intuition.
• From Angela Duckworth (Grit author) - The value of "deliberate practice," something I plan to implement with writing over the next year
• From Craig and Donald Miller - It is good for committed Christians to be intentional leaders with solid financial goals. I am capable/competent to navigate and learn all that comes with being self-employed, and I plan to step up and grow in my leadership and business skills!

Happy Sunday, family and friends, and I hope you have an excellent month ahead!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

April Book Reviews!

Most of April was very heavy with school work, so it was lighter with outside reading... (lighter in the quantity of books, not their quality).  I spent more time on podcasts than usual, and this was the second month where I naturally gravitated toward audiobooks written and read by great female authors!

1.  The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents by Dr. Lisa Damour

Lots of good insight here.  I found Dr. Damour through The Holderness Family Podcast, and I was drawn to this book for future parenting purposes, as well as aunthood concerns.  She writes about the biggest myths when it comes to teenage emotions, offering advice on helping teens express their feelings and regain emotional control, and how to interpret certain behaviors.  There is also a section on gender differences and how to navigate aggression, anger, harassment, and self-esteem issues.  My biggest takeaways are to stay emotionally regulated and consistent, to make sure teens know you care about them and believe in them, to speak up when you have concerns about potential suicidal thoughts or self-harm, and to recognize that there is value in going through hard things and emotional pain (to support them without stepping in to rescue them, allowing them to be sad/distressed rather than pretending all is well or numbing their pain).

Favorite Quote:  “People stop maturing at the point when they start abusing substances... Feeling the emotional impact of difficult experiences helps us to grow up.  Think of a boy who gets dumped by his girlfriend.  He may be devastated, struggle to get out of bed, and live under a cloud for days.  But if his misery inspires him to seek and accept support from good friends, reflect on what worked in the relationship and what didn't, and discover that he can weather more psychological discomfort than he realized, the breakup can become a growth-giving if still profoundly unwanted experience.  When substances come into the mix, however, maturation halts.  Whatever else can be said about drugs and alcohol, they are very good at blocking emotional pain, and therefore, the maturation that comes with it."

2.  Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

Loved this one - surprised I haven't read it before.  Angela spent years researching grit and developed the 10-question "Grit Scale" (HERE).  She talks about the importance of consistent effort over natural talent, how to grow our own grit from the inside out, how to raise children with grit, and how to create a culture of grit in the workplace.  She expresses the value of a growth mindset and a sense of purpose/passion that helps us press through hard things.  This book increased my desire to grow, to press into gritty friendships, and to create a specific, high-level goal that inspires unwavering passion and perseverance!

Favorite Quote:  “What we accomplish in the marathon of life depends tremendously on our grit - our passion and perseverance for long-term goals...  Grit depends on a different kind of hope.  It rests on the expectation that our own efforts can improve our future.  'I have a feeling tomorrow will be better' is different from 'I resolve to make tomorrow better.'  The hope that gritty people have has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with getting up again."

3.  Let Your Mind Run: A Memoir of Thinking My Way to Victory by Deena Kastor and Michelle Hamilton

This was recommended by a FB friend who is a runner.  I knew nothing about Deena going in, but I loved the title of this book enough to buy it on Audible.  To be honest, I'm about 3/4ths of the way through now, but really enjoying it so far!  Deena is an Olympic medalist and a national champion long-distance runner, and this book tells her story and how she worked to build the mental endurance and optimism (aka gritty passion and perseverance) to keep improving and pursuing her goals, one step at a time!  I'm reminded of my own past jogging experiences - anything long distance really is a challenging mental game with lots of metaphors that apply in other areas of life.  And I love that she shares how she overcame her fears and self-doubt and how her coaches and teammates helped to shape her thinking and increase her inner and outer strength and endurance!

Favorite Quote: "I like who I am.  I like who I'm becoming... With a simple shift in perspective, I had changed the outcome of the summer, and myself. I was stronger, more enduring, flexible, and independent. And I knew now that whatever I needed I had within me... Competitors can know your times and places.  They can learn and guess at your race tactics.  But your inner strength is where you gain a real advantage.  And I felt mine growing.”

And that's my book reviews for April.  I'm so grateful that this week has been a legit break from school and regular work routines.  I am fully caught up at work, as of yesterday.  It won't last long, but it's a treat to have a blogging and TV-watching Friday with nothing else pressing! =)

I have lost 36 pounds over the past 2.5 months, but I'll confess that this week has also been a 'break' from my WW consistency - it's alarmingly easy to slip back into old habits and defeated mindsets.  But it's a marathon not a sprint, and I am back on track today and determined to keep pressing forward!  These books all reinforce the idea that our thoughts hold great power and that there is value in consistently getting up again and pressing through setbacks.  Gritty thinking leads to victory... I believe that.  And I believe more and more that real, lasting change is possible for me in several areas, and that's exciting!  One step at a time, one meal at a time, moving forward with passion and perseverance!!

Quotables!

"Yeah, I know you're tired.  But you know who else is tired!?  Beyonce!!  She's been working since she was 12, but she still goes out and slays it!!  So just BE Beyonce for the next minute and a half!"  ~Cody Rigsby (Peloton) 

"People generally underestimate what they’re capable of.  And they undervalue what they can accomplish when they come at things from a place of confidence rather than desperation!" ~Chet Lee (possibly a paraphrase, but that's how I remember it... he's had lots of inspiring/helpful words of wisdom lately)

"Adulthood is full of ghosts, people who've ended up in one life instead of another, and they are just so disappointed... High-functioning sleepwalkers, essentially."  ~Emily Mandel

"I THINK I may have just gotten hit on by a guy at the mall... I can't be sure bc he said 'Sooo I'm a grad student at OU, but I can tell you used to be all that back in the day!' ...Back in the day my *$s!!  I will whack him with my cane!!!" ~text from Rach lol

"There was nothing scarier in my life than being a young child with one evil parent and one unstable parent."  ~Beth Moore

"Quit whining.
You're sharp.
You have what it takes.
Fix it!" 
-Craig Groeschel (I'm enjoying his Leadership Podcast lately)

"I hate doing up-dos... I would rather give birth unassisted!!  It just stresses me out because it's usually for prom, and there's usually a mom standing right over your shoulder!"  ~Janelle

"It's just hard to tell what's going on."  ~Rach, amidst a serious dinner convo
"Mmm, it's hard to tell what's going on with Grandpa's plate!"  ~Kyndal, lightening the mood (Dad combines his foods, and the kids always have critical thoughts on it. lol)

"You look like Gus, man - stop it with the wide eyes!!  You're definitely scarier  now with the beard and the hair!"  ~Jaceman talking to Dad lol

"And then she knocked down a picture and broke the thermostat!!"  ~Jace, dramatically telling a story about Kyndal
"Hashtag, not really."  ~Kyndal Faith, calmly defending herself lol

"But it's gonna sell quickly, because God is on my side!!"  ~Chet (about a $2 mil home he has listed)
"Well, He wasn't with you on 522... but He is now!"  ~Me
"Oh, He was - He just knew your favorite number was 7!"  ~Chet (on my 7th offer being the charm) lol

(Before Mom's sheer-cap-sleeve solution...)
"Ugh, she has to wear a sweater over her Easter program dress, and that takes away some of the cuteness!"  ~Rach
"Well, she's not really that cute anyway!" ~Grandpa, joking with K-Faith
"You'll SEE me not being cute in the morning!"  ~Kyndal, who is not a morning person and gets annoyed every day when Grandpa wakes them up for school

"Hello, Lady Glitter-Sparkles!"  ~Random boy in K's class greeting her on Easter program night

Chet, on being ready for a new car:
"Well, now I've had my Porsche.  Just call me Jay Stevenson!"  -Chet
"You've sown your wild Porsche oats!"  -JEM lol

Pondering a 40th birthday trip:
"I mean, it doesn't have to be a cruise at all.  It could be anywhere - any ideas!?"  ~Me
"I've never been to the Grand Canyon!"  ~Chet
"Mmm... it's... pretty boring.  What else have you got?" ~Me lol

During our enlightening pre-Hamilton lunch convo...
"WOW, we're all just learning a lot about each other!!"  -Jeffrey Edward

(We talked briefly about how Malori and I met in 2007... just after Josh's letter and her brother's death...) 
Chettles:  "Man, everyone was going through all this suffering, and I was just over here living my best life, oblivious!!"
"You were just worried about who could come to the Caravan!"  JEM (on Chet planning his 21st bday in that season) lol
**This made me laugh pretty hard, as I'm the queen of being oblivious.  But for the record, I can attest that Chet was a fun & caring friend, even back then. =)

"Those cars are so AWESOME!"  ~Jace commenting on a Porsche SUV driving by
"Actually, Chet has one of those... and he does not love it."  ~Me
"WHAT!?  Trade him your Genesis for it!!!  Or keep yours and give the Porsche to Grandpa... because they [the Wilsons] still have their van, right?"  ~Jace Michael, knowing far more about all the cars than I'd expected

"I'll help you with the written stuff, and you help me with the verbal!"  ~Me to Chet, who was a major help with interview prep for my Practicum sites

"Well, clarity is power - I'll BOLD you there!!" ~Chet (quoting the KW Bold class)

Rach and kids watching Camp Rock 2, a cheesy musical Disney+...

"We have to save our camp - we can't back down!" -Demi Lovato's character, who then bursts into a song called We Can't Back Down

"Well, if you need to save it, quit singing about it and DO IT!" ~Jace annoyed by the musical theatrics

"That's a freakin' boss QUEEN right there!"  -Kyndal Faith, super into her song and learning the hand motions ❤

JEM:  "So did you have to get in your storm shelter the other day?" 

Me:  "I did, for just a few minutes."

Chet:  "Do you even read the blog!?"

Me:  "Yeah, do you even follow me on Facebook!?" 

JEM:  "Well... it was such a busy week!!" lol

Chet:  "Nope, he's unfollowed you and he's quit reading the blog!"

JEM:  "Yeah, your readership went down by 50%!!"

Me:  "Sadness." lol

Me: "Hey, I read there's gonna be another Avenger's movie that comes out in 2025!!"

Jace:  "What!?  None of us will be alive by then!"

Me and Rach laughing, assuming he misunderstood the year: "Yeah, that's just two years from now."

Jace, completely serious:  "But we're living in the Revelation end times.  My friend Isaiah told me that, and he reads his Bible!" lol

(Then we discussed that further and how no one knows the exact day, etc.)

"I love you more than anyone, Dad... except for anyone else I know!"  ~Tate to Chet lol

"Favorite Julie Andrews character - go!"  -Ted Lasso

"Clarisse Renaldi, Queen of Genovia!"  -Trent Crimm

"F#@! yeah, Princess Diaries!!"  -Roy Kent lol

"Entitlement is when you expect others to close the gap between what you have and what you want.  Ambition is when you expect yourself to close the gap between what you have and what you want!"  ~James Clear ❤ (So simple and true.)

"Wanting to create something new in the world is not bad... Things that are healthy and alive change.  The converse is also true: things that are dead do not change."  -Donald Miller, Hero on a Mission

"Find a thought that serves you better...  When we place blame outside ourselves, we give away our power. Only you can control you, so by taking ownership of your role in a situation or outcome, you put yourself in the driver’s seat."  ~Deena Kastor, Let Your Mind Run

*It's fun looking back at these Quotables posts, so I'm gonna make a real effort to start writing down the funny/inspiring/ridiculous quotes again!

Happy Wednesday, friends!!

"Kiddo"

Could we all agree to stop using the term "kiddo," particularly when speaking with a grown ADULT!?  

Honestly, it's not my favorite term even when it's being used with a specific child.  Like, "Hey, kiddo" or "This kiddo said..."  I strongly prefer to call them by their name (or by their first and middle name, as is my signature style) or even by an endearing nickname.  You know, something that lets them know they have individual and personal value to me.  "Kiddo" generalizes them all and keeps it more impersonal and distant, which is not what I'm about.

But when it's an older adult speaking to an unrelated younger adult, "kiddo" is downright condescending and patronizing.  A term used by someone who feels superior to you, and they would like you to be aware of that.  It is not benign or endearing - it's just irksome and cringey and belittling.

I had a car salesmen say this to me repeatedly, and it only confirmed the smarmy, arrogant vibes I already felt from him.  Even if you're in your 60s and they're in their 20s, they have crossed over the adult threshold and should be treated accordingly, with professionalism and dignity and respect.  Even if it's "Go get 'em, kiddo," I'd still respond with "Thanks, and my name is Lindsey."

This morning, Dave Ramsey said this to a women who called into his podcast for financial advice.  "Listen, kiddo..."  Ugh, I didn't even catch what came next.  Then I thought about it through my drive to work.  I know he gets called "Boomer" and "Grandpa" pretty regularly on social media by people who think his advice is behind the times.  And I'm guessing that puts him on edge and makes him feel a little jaded.  But don't take it out on the people who are still genuinely seeking out your advice.  You can speak with great confidence without being a jerk about it.  They have asked you for advice, so you are in a position of authority and respect, but degrading someone and talking down to them does not enhance your authority or professional credibility.  Throwing "kiddo" in only decreases the likelihood that people will be able to pay attention and hear the great advice you're attempting to give.  Truly.

Anyway, that's my Tuesday morning mini-rant.  Maybe others hear this word differently and don't realize that it comes across as condescending to some people??  Either way, I plan to politely speak up and  remind them of my name and command respect the next time someone uses this word with me.

Everything Else

(This post includes recent photos I took + a few FB pics shared by others.)

Bill, Bryce, and Audie (Mom and JoBug's cousins) came to visit us this weekend!  Kyndal had a volleyball game Friday night, but I joined Mom and JB and fam for this dinner at Quail Creek Country Club!  It was good to see them all and hang out for a while!  (This weekend was a bit rough with WW - I always struggle more when I fail to plan and track ahead of time, especially with buffets where I see tons of things that look good.  Not a valid excuse, though, as there are always healthy options available.)

Side note:  Mom's car reads "JoBug" as "Jaw-bug," and it cracks me right up! 
Robot voice:  "What would you like to say to Jaw-bug?" lolol

Babah's group of friends at The Veraden are having a Kentucky Derby watch party.  That feels super cute and makes me happy!  This is me trying on her fancy hat for that event.

While I was at Red Rock with the Tulsa crew, Rach and fam joined the group at Gaillardia for another dinner together.  Babah was feeling better and able to join them that night, as well.  All of these pictures make me happy!

My go-to low-point dessert option has been Bran Flakes or Rice Chex with strawberries or bananas.  YUM!  Cereal registers as a comfort food to me.  And I've now added the low-sugar Instant Oatmeal to the list if I'm craving something warm.

Ashley Campbell being inspiring and hiking to an amazing waterfall!!

My cousins, Justin and Ashley (he started this insurance company and she works with him).  My cousin, Brandon, commented on this photo: "Peavler, your arms are crying for a bigger shirt!" lol  I love that he and Justin are still making me laugh!

Charles Stanley died last week.  I remember hearing him preach on TV several times as I was growing up - Dad loved watching him!  I've always enjoyed Andy and his teaching, and I appreciated this post!

Not our best photo, but probably not our worst either (Chet was celebrating surviving the chaos of a 2-year-old bday party, and I was laughing about that)

Tall Kyle and Zealand... cuteness!

Rachel got to see T-Swift on the Eras tour... I can't wait to hear about it next time I see her!  Love her glittery dress and the T-Swift heart in this photo! =) ❤

Truth.

More truth.

The precious mini Miss K was sick yesterday.  I hope she's feeling better this morning!

This is the child of one of my high school friends, and he's just the cutest lil' redhead in the world!  The glasses just add to it. =)

A few of my favorite pics of the Moss fam with baby Henry + Henry at two months old... precious!  Love them all!

Summery cuteness snow cone pics of Tate and Parker!

❤ ❤ ❤

That's all for today...

Make it a great week!

Monday Memes!

Happy first day of a brand new week!!
Here are a few memes to start your week off on a happy note...

Penn Holderness struggled with ADHD in school, but he is a brilliant, fun, creative, solid family man who loves all things space related and has accomplished a lot!  He and Kim are now advocating for kids with ADHD and working to help them see themselves in a better light! ❤  This meme brought him to mind immediately.

Ha I love this!

*Jim Halpert face*

I always say, "Google is your friend!" when anyone asks me something I don't know.  (Yes, Siri is the new Google, but I still prefer to type in my questions on the Google app.)

Seriously.

Lol if only I could see my old Myspace page - the song, the background, the Top 8 Friends, and the blog. I'm guessing it would all be cringey to me now.

YES to this.  People do NOT need spiritual shame added to the trauma and disconnection they are trying to recover from.  Destigmatize seeking help when you need it!

Truth!  (With the exception of when I was trying for a pregnancy... I remember taking a bite of raw cookie dough then spitting it out when that occurred to me. lol)

God will align it, but you're more likely to attract the right people as your energy shifts/grows.

I'd be the one who didn't make it back. lol

This made me think of Tman, who loves organization but also loves to save the Apple boxes!

Smart. lol

David Payne is our local weather guy, pretty entertaining!

This often feels true.

Random stuff like this makes me happy.

OMG people at four-way stops are aggravating!  I have several on my drive to and from work, and always end up yelling "Goooo!" at least once on those drives.

That's all for the memes.  One more quick post after this!