22 - Imposter Syndrome

What Did You Accomplish Today?

Kind of a strange prompt for a gratitude month.  For clarity's sake, I'm writing this one day ahead on Tuesday.  Today, I spent the morning at the courthouse... wrote the Family blog then talked with Cheryl about her difficult weekend with a family member she's been caring for, then printed and filed three Prelim transcripts -- huzzah for being caught up before Thanksgiving!  Then I went to Restore for the afternoon.  Two of my usual Tuesday clients cancelled since this is Thanksgiving week... so I observed a session with Hannah, then with Julia.  (Both of them were working with younger kid clients, so we played board games, had a freeze-dance party, made an art therapy gratitude heart, and talked about social anxiety and personal-space boundaries.  Somewhere in the middle of the day, Chet Lee called and we had a good talk about growth mindset.  All in all, a pretty good workday.  I grabbed Tucker's cheeseburgers for Mom and I and came home... she was here adding a couple new Christmas things she'd found. lol  We had a good talk over dinner.  I texted with Tiffany about life and checking for updates on Tonyia, a woman from their office who suffered horrible burn injuries due to a tragic smudge pot explosion over the weekend.  (Prayers appreciated for their entire family!!)  I started some laundry, picked up my Walgreens prescriptions, and learned that Mr. Holmes from CHA passed away today (more reason for prayers).  And that brings us to this moment where I'm in my cozy hoodie and pajama pants writing this blog. =)

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One other quick-ish thought that's on my heart:  I led a small group for the other interns at Restore last Wednesday focused on "Imposter Syndrome and Self-Compassion."  My brief research and the group discussion were encouraging for me, and I thought about it again as I observed others counseling today.  Since then, that topic was also discussed on Craig's leadership podcast and in Steven Furtick's latest sermon.  At some point, every person experiences this feeling!  Competitive environments, feeling overwhelmed or pressured to succeed, perfectionistic tendencies, and stressful family dynamics can all lay the groundwork for imposter syndrome.  One of the biggest things our intern group discussed (for obvious reasons) was being new at something where you really care about doing well, and feeling that you have a lot of head knowledge but little practical experience with it...

Signs of imposter syndrome: 

• Believing you do not belong
• Doubting your personal abilities and talents
• Feeling unworthy; minimizing your successes
• Overworking to meet expectations
• Feeling inadequate and insecure
• Comparison and negative self-talk
• Beating yourself up over small mistakes
• Avoidance and hiding from challenges

We all have personal strengths and limitations, and we are all human and experience moments of weakness and insecurity.  Knowing ourselves is important -- instead of "Fake it till you make it," change that K to a C -- "Face it till you ace it."  There is power in getting honest and acknowledging where we are struggling, as well as where we are seeing improvements.  Vulnerability tends to be contagious, and we can learn from each other and keep growing and facing new challenges head-on.  Self-compassion is a simple strategy to cure and quiet imposter syndrome.  Think back on a time when you've experienced imposter syndrome (feeling like a fraud) - how did that feel and what were you saying to yourself?  How might you respond differently if you treated yourself with the same level of compassion, support, and kindness you would show to a good friend??

I've definitely felt that inner panic as I step into counseling, so here's my self pep talk for today:

You're exactly where you should be, Lindsey Claire.  You're already better than you think, and you'll grow in confidence and skill as you gain experience.  Don't despise the small beginnings.  Learning curves are difficult for everyone, but inexperience does not equal incompetence or make you an imposter.  Keep showing up.  Keep learning.  Be present and wholehearted.  You're surrounded with good resources.  Read and ask questions; you're not the only one wondering.  Work on your weaknesses and play up your strengths.  Face it till you ace it.  God is with you and for you, and there is great purpose in this growing season.  This is Kingdom work, and God saw your heart and called you into it.  Pray for your clients and trust God to speak through you.  Take it one step at a time, one session at a time, walking in His grace, strength, authority, and wisdom.  Your heart is good soil, and your life will produce good and lasting fruit.  "It's supposed to be hard.  If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it.  The hard is what makes it great." ;-)

❤