Is there a better mood-boosting combo than good music and fun exercise!? ...Maybe good conversation and chocolate, but this is a pretty close second. lol
I just finished an energizing 20-minute walk that started with the song American Pie by Don McLean - "We all got up to dance - ooooh, but we never got the chance!", followed by Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. I know every word of both songs, and it was so fun to walk and sing along... I flew right through the first 15 minutes right there! Then at the end of the walk, Rebecca Kenedy said "You are strong! You are resilient! You are loved!! Stick with this journey - it only gets better from here. Peace!" Yaaas!
I followed that up with a relaxing 10-minute stretch to all Disney songs, which included a very random face massage - lol, the cat/cow stretch, and pigeon pose (my fav yoga pose). The playlist included Beyonce's Spirit song from Lion King ("So go into a far-off land and be one with the Great I Am") and ended with A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes. "No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true." Yes, please, to all of that!
Also, I did my 350th strength class live with Selena this morning - no shout out, but I'm shouting myself out here!! lol Yay Peloton... yay happy endorphins... and yay me!!
Then there's this... he's not wrong. lol Must find some community that makes healthy eating as fun as Peloton has made exercise!
On a similar note, allow me to recommend the Reeses with pretzels... I'm not even a fan of pretzels normally, but they're chopped up really small and give it a little extra crunch and saltiness - yummm!
Our courthouse fountain - always makes me happy.
One of many famous Cody Rigsby rants was about his love of grilled cheeses with mayo (eek), so Kraft gave him and the #BooCrew a shoutout on Instagram. Cute and clever! (He has also talked about finding kitten heels unacceptable "unless you have some sort of medical condition," hence the bottom caption. lol)
Miss Ellie Faye looking precious this weekend as Jeff was out gardening! ❤ (I wasn't there, but he texted me this cute pic. I'm sure you're all shocked that I wasn't joining the gardening fun. lol)
Something I bought to remind myself that writing is part of my identity and purpose now, whether or not I publish a book... I like that "You are a writer... inspire... write" are the biggest words on it.
So I was checking out at Walgreens this weekend, and the guy asked if I'd like to donate to children in poverty. I figured it was the usual rounding-up the change thing and said yes, then he asked how much I'd like to give. "Oh... umm, two dollars," I said, somewhat caught off guard. Then he picked up a tiny bell and rang it, and it was all I could do to not bust out laughing! OMG, so funny! It was literally just me and him and one other cashier there at the time, and it was very clear that this was something he was told to do but found pretty awkward. I said "cute" and laughed quietly as I got my stuff, then got back in my car and laughed a lot more. (And it made me think of Jocelyn's bell, which also made me laugh!)
On this day last year, we celebrated Triston graduating from 6th grade! This pic is all the women and children from that side of the fam, and it always makes me think of the "women and children first" line from Titanic. lol It's a little sad to think of all that has changed with Babah since then, but I'm thankful for this sunny day memory. When Kyndal Faith's feet can touch the floor, I'll miss these days. What a tiny presh!
Okay, I think that's all I've got now. And now I'm off to watch The Pelican Brief, a 1993 hit with Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington that I've somehow never seen before.
Hey friends! For the precious few of you who check in regularly enough to notice the blog issues this week, allow me to explain. In the 13 years and thousands of posts I have authored on this blog, to the best of my memory, I have written five posts that focused on politics (three of them this year). It's certainly not my favorite subject due to its divisive nature, but sometimes, I feel passionate enough about something to merit writing and sharing my thoughts. I shared one of those five political posts last Wednesday, venting some long-held frustrations that mostly stem from years of feeling unseen/unheard and disrespected by some of the people I love when it comes to my political views. It has been tiring and hard, and it took gumption for me to speak up here. My friend, Jeff, called after reading it (I was on the phone with Mom). I assumed it was about that post, and I was internally braced for a difficult conversation when I returned his call that night. To his credit and true to his nature, he was very kind and gracious, acknowledging my frustrations with empathy, helping me to feel seen and validated in my views, and reminding me that I was valued as a friend... then offering wise advice that I was able to hear and receive without feeling so defensive because of how he'd started the conversation. That's so much more important than people often realize!
I told him I really appreciated that, then I temporarily removed the public post and took some time to think it over. I added some important edits and re-posted it on Friday morning. Friday around 5:00, I got an email from Blogger telling me my post had been reported to them (something you have to really go out of your way to do here) and that it had been deleted for "violating their Malware Policy" - ??? - then they encouraged me to "review the full content of my posts to make sure they're in line with their standards, as additional violations could result in the termination of my blog." Yikes. That was definitely a first, and I did not love it. I was also terribly confused about how it actually violated their standards, but I switched this entire blog back to private so that no further violations would be possible. I went to bed last night feeling pretty upset and confused about the whole ordeal. This morning, I received a second email from Blogger saying that upon further review, my post did *not* violate their standards, so they had reinstated it. All very strange. I talked to Chet about all of the above this morning -- and once again, I appreciated the level of respect and validation that was offered. So it's good that I wrote the post because it led to healthy real-life conversations, and I think I have needed to hear some of that for a while. I've mostly been quiet about it, but I've felt a lot of condescension over the past five years... so to feel confident and safe enough to speak up for my beliefs and to still be seen, supported, valued, and respected — specifically by people who don't fully agree with my views — that result was actually really important for me. My counselor and I have talked lately about the fact that I need and desire more emotional support, but that it doesn't always have to come from the people I imagine or hope it will come from - and this whole situation was a good reminder of that.
I am unsure about who chose to anonymously report that post - likely someone who doesn't know me in real life -but the idea that the harsh tone of my words hurt or bothered someone else enough to do that made me decide to remove it. Political writing is not my passion or strong suit, and I really want this blog to be a place of encouragement and hope and connection! Romans 12 is my self-appointed "life chapter," and verse 18 pictured above is one of my favorites: "If it is possible, as far is it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." That rolled through my mind this morning when I was debating whether to keep or remove that post, and then I knew. I don't always get it right on that, but I hope to be humble enough to course-correct when I've been wrong. While I'm not a fan of censorship and I'm very confident that my post did not actually violate any standards here, my motives were questionable and my tone was intense and less than kind. And I recognize that when I'm feeling hurt or belittled and wrestling with stuff that can be so divisive, it's probably best that I talk with trusted friends and family rather than vulnerably venting to the entire internet. Anyway, all that to say, you're not going crazy... there was once a political post, and then it was gone, and then it was back again with edits... and then the post was reported and deleted by Blogger, then this entire blog was gone (made private), then it was all back to public with that post fully restored, and finally, that post was gone once again. It's been a long four days. lol The end.
Good talk. Okay, now a couple pics from Sarah Elizabeth's baby shower today!!
Two of my favorite people, and I really loved these trees! ❤
They got so many great baby gifts for Katherine Claire!
It was a beautiful shower and I had fun chatting with Chet and Teresa + helping take photos.
Not my best "card," but yay for another presh tiny Bible. =)
And a little slideshow I made for Sarah...
My next-door neighbors were kind enough to power-wash my driveway last week, and it got rid of the oil stains completely - huzzah!! I'd been able to lighten them up a lot, but had given up on the idea of it being stain-free, so this was a happy surprise. (And makes for a lovely metaphor on sin and trying to do better on our own versus letting Jesus transform our hearts, but I won't harp on that. lol)
Nothing else to share tonight, but here's a random tree-bridge pic that makes me happy. lol
Starting off with a reminder that simple words of wisdom or encouragement or small acts of kindness matter. ❤ We all have an important role to play!
I ordered Mother's Day cards from Walgreens again this year - yay, Walgreens!
My "gift" to Mom was helping her spray paint the lampstands and picture frames... she's redoing a few things in her living room this summer, so we're in the beginning of project mode on that. So many drop cloths and empty boxes. lol I love that Mom is always well-prepared for this kind of stuff - so many people don't do that part well, and it matters! The spray painting itself was pretty fun. I hadn't done that in a while, and I was surprised how fast it was!
The sports wall frames had been a mix of golds, browns, and blacks... now they're all black and matching. =) Also, check me out up top next to David Robinson. I really fit right in on this wall of professional and college athletes!! lol
I also "helped" with Jace's eye therapy a couple times. Mom recognizes the massive importance of it for his future, and she has been the one helping him 99% of the time, but Jace's apathy and stubbornness make it really difficult work. His siblings have also helped him a few times when he's trying to get it done early at their house. Anyway, I'll be glad for Jace and for Mom's sake when his eye function is totally restored and this season is over. He was in a fun mood at the beginning here... putting on the eye patch then winking at me for a pirate picture.
It's a lot of work to add on to his homework and sports and other stuff, and I wish he didn't have to do it. But it matters dramatically for his vision and who he will be as an adult. He has to use two sets of lenses plus the red and green bars and red and green slip-in lenses as he reads through these telephone numbers. It's intense. There are 7 different things on the daily list for eye therapy right now. If he went through them without fighting it, it would take an hour and five minutes total. But it takes closer to two hours with the constant arguing and "breaks" and hyper-focusing on distractions between and during each session. It's rough.
When he finally finished that, we went outside and swam (my first swim of 2021). We played "shark" (water tag) and a very short round of chicken, and it was fun times hanging out with Triston, Jace, and Kyndal! (Carter spent the night with his friend, Spencer, then they went with Brooke for Mother's Day, so I didn't get to see him this weekend.)
This little flompy-sue puppy grabbed this branch and carted it up to the porch and was chewing it up and tearing it all apart. Gah, she was so CUTE prancing up looking so proud of herself carrying it! lol
We took it away since she was starting to try to eat it, then she heroically fought the broom as Mom was trying to sweep it all up. lol She's the very cutest right now!!
She's also a playful biter with crazy razor-sharp teeth... so Mom got this spatula that we can hold when we're holding her so that she doesn't try to bite our fingers and ears and noses off. lol
In more serious news, my Aunt JoBug (LaJo O'Brien, standing in the middle here) is retiring from her long career as a teacher this year!! They had a party for her and a couple other retiring teachers at Deer Creek on Friday. She has so much fun, playful energy... and she has mainly worked with Special Ed. students and kids with various other learning disabilities. I know she has left a memorable legacy there and made a huge difference in so many lives!! ❤❤
Friday night (after painting and eye therapy and swimming fun) we had spaghetti and pizza dinner with Rach and the kids. Miss K gave Rachael this little thing they made at school... I think she looks so freaking adorable in this pic! ❤
Kyndal: "Mommmm, how much do you weigh?"
Jace, emphatically: "What!? You can't ask a woman that!!" lol
Kyndal: "Well, I guessed 45, but I wasn't sure."
Me: "Such a great guess, Miss!"
Preshface!
(*Also, it's incredibly thoughtless and obnoxious to me that they included weight on this form for moms. I get the vague intent of kids making cute guesses like this, but it could easily go the other way and trigger body shame and insecurities, which are typically more problematic for women anyway. Dumb.)
Finally, I love that she said, "Mom and I love to... ART." And that if she could give Rach something special, it would be a McDonald's gift card! LOL
Saturday morning, we all went to see Babah at Virginia's house. She's actually looking and feeling much better and more coherent lately! Getting stronger, but still not quite able to walk on her own. Thankful for progress. We stayed there and chatted about an hour and a half and gave her our cards and the digital photo frame gift and tried to set it up.
Kyndal Faith brought a lovely homemade Mother's Day card and drawing for all the women there, including me (the only non-mother at this point), saying I'm the best aunt ever! I need to make her a card for being the best niece! ❤❤ =)
Later that night, Aunt Charlene came over for dinner (Billy Sims BBQ to go + ice cream) and a movie (White House Down). It had been a while, and it's always so good to see her and catch up on life and family stuff! I love hearing her stories and all the detail she puts into them. lol
Sunday was obviously Mother's Day. We went to LifeChurch that morning then went to Olive Garden (our family + Rach and the kids + Josh and his mom, "Grandma Tina"). It was the world's slowest service at Olive Garden that day - we got there just after 11, and finally got our food at 12:25. Jace and Kyndal kept us entertained. This = them giving Grandma Tina her gift after lunch (a cup with pics of them and T&C on it). Plus me and Rachael and the Olive Garden sign in her car's reflection. lol
After that, they came home with Mom and Dad and we went through another painful eye therapy extravaganza. Then I played some volleyball with Kyndal in the driveway and watched Jace play basketball for a bit until Josh came and got them around 4. I rested and chatted with Mom a bit, then finally made the drive back home!
My final pic for this post -- Mom ordered this chair thinking she'd have it recovered, then she found one she likes better. I tried this in my room, and it's a great fit! The color and size totally work, and I've wanted to have a little chair in there for a while. So I told Mom thanks for my Mother's Day gift! lol
That's all I've got here for today.
Happy Monday, and hope you have a good week ahead!!
Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Today, I am thankful for:
1. My friendship with Kristin and Jon. I brought dinner for them last night and got to hang out and eat with them, then Jon went to the store and I stayed for a bit and talked to Kristin. It's a friendship where I feel like we usually both leave feeling strengthened and encouraged, and I told her it's impressive that she was sharing insightful wisdom and encouragement even as she's recovering from major surgery. Praising God for her recovery and testimony about that, as well!
*It also made me thankful to see so many cards and letters and balloons and flowers and the "Welcome Home" banner with verses... I love seeing the church BE the church on stuff like this. It matters more than people often realize!
2. Encouraging verses that remind me that God is good and powerful and present, and His ways are higher than ours!
3. Farm-fresh eggs from Judge Golden's chickens. =)
4. Lovely weather and getting to walk outside in the awesome neighborhood of Crescent Park, where I feel safe and where all the life around me is cuteness (baby ducks, geese, puppies, kids on tricycles, guys out fishing, other runners/walkers, etc.) I hadn't worn a baseball cap in years before this, but I love this one!
5. Randomness that makes me laugh... like this thing on Google where you could view baby Yoda in your space using the camera. lol
6. My daily workouts... and learning to push myself to do it even on days when I'm feeling over it... because I'm always thankful that I did it in the end!!
7. Finding a counselor who seems to "get me" and have some good insight so far! Yay for baby steps in working to become the healthiest version of myself mentally, physically, and spiritually!! ❤
Happy Thursday!! You are loved, and your life matters! Hope you have a great weekend ah
"Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on Him, and He will proclaim justice to the nations. He will not fight or shout or raise His voice in public. He will not crush the weak or quench the smallest hope. He will persist until He causes justice to triumph. And His name will be the hope of all the world."
~Matthew 12:18-21 ❤
Sharing because these verses, especially the last three sentences, were encouraging for me today! Hope you find strength and comfort in them too.
Happy Tuesday, friends and fam. Hope it's been good so far! Now here are a few random pics and quotes I haven't posted yet...
I'm convinced that I think about death more than the average person, but that's not a terrible thing according to Ecclesiastes, and it helps us follow the advice below. It's good to remind ourselves that life is short and unpredictable, and to make sure the people we love know that we love and care about them. I'm thankful for those who have done that well for me. I got a call from JEM just checking in a few days ago that was unexpected but meant a lot to me - little things like that can make a huge difference when someone is having a rough day.
Mark's birthday was May 2nd (our awesome CHA friend, Mark, who passed away from lung cancer in 2016), so I texted his mom to say I was thinking of her and remembering him. She was grateful and very kind, and she sent back a picture of her with his son after he won a medal in a golf tournament recently (Mark's favorite sport), and that all made me happy.
Subject change, but I'm trying to incorporate more jogging back into my workout routine. Not as fun for me as the bike rides and strength training and yoga, but I want to get one more race medal, and I know the cardio is good for me so long as I keep proper form!
I'll still be on the bike most days, too, just maybe for shorter rides. Cody's latest XOXO ride was fun times last week!
This was posted in one of my Peloton groups, and it's true. I'm proud of myself for fighting for joy and hope, and I applaud you if you've been working to do the same! It's worth the effort, always. #chooselife
Something light and happy - Lindsay's baby, Waverly ("Wavy J"), with the biggest LV bow ever! How adorable is her smiley self!? And Lindsay cracks me up buying this bow! lol
Mom and I went by Dad's office a couple weeks ago, and I took this pic in their break room. All the motivational quotes you could ever want are on the walls somewhere in that office. lol And all the candy and cookies and Mike Muecke water you could ever want are in there, too. =)
Took this one to send to Rach - I was surprised seeing her in so many of the staff pictures on the wall, but she did work there for several years back in the day!
Another lovely reminder quote...
I'm saving a lot of these lately. Action leads to momentum, so I'm challenging myself to push forward on a few things that truly matter to me. It's good to consider the cost and be certain about the goal, but you can get stuck overanalyzing that stuff, and I don't want to let comfort or cowardice stop me from living a full and meaningful life!! ❤
I'm donating a few old books that I no longer want or need... but I felt kinda weird about my name being on the front page when they're going to random strangers, so I ripped it out and had a pile of name confetti. lol
I think that's all the randomness I have for you today.
More often than not, the background noise of music is playing in my mind or maybe being softly hummed out loud. Sometime last week, the song in my heart was: "Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus... how I've proved Him o'er and o'er." I had the lyrics slightly out of order and I couldn't think of the hymn's title, but it was bringing me comfort. So I Googled it and promptly downloaded this Casting Crowns version of 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus. ❤
I've listened to it on repeat since, and it's been good for my soul. I'm in a necessary-but-exhausting season of grief and growth, and I have zero desire to invest my heart, energy, time, and strength in something else that may fall apart and further hurt me. But rather than numbing out, I need to focus on the foundation, on the solid Rock that is Jesus Himself. Part of why I decided to read through the gospels each month this year was a strong desire to press into Jesus, to remember and connect with who He really is and what He really stands for, very much apart from the way our modern church has portrayed Him. That's been really good for me too. There is hope and healing and freedom and life available in Jesus. And He is in me, and I am in Him.
Another thing contributing to my current level of exhaustion and need for counseling and healing is the fact that I've been too quiet and passive for too long about several things that matter to me. Due to my love of peace and harmony and my experience-based fear of abandonment, people-pleasing can be a problem for me. But I want to do better. It's no secret that this has been a volatile past decade politically, and the vitriol and tension have been especially hard on those of us with empathetic hearts. As I mentioned last week, I believe the conservative American church has lost sight of what matters most, veering off course and away from the heart of Jesus. And although he has far more liberal ideas about how to fix some of those problems than I do, John Pavlovitz, a former pastor, wrote the following reflecting on that topic. I found it sobering, and much of his perspective resonated with me and makes me want to do a better job of speaking up for truth in love and of living a life that truly represents Jesus:
"The people who are gone [who left the church] — aren’t gone because your band wasn’t good enough or because the messages weren’t clever enough or because your production wasn’t tight enough...Church, people are leaving you because you are silent right now in ways that matter to them.You aren’t saying what they need you to say and what you should be saying—and it makes them sick.They spend their days with a front row seat to human right atrocities, to growing movements of cruelty, to unprecedented religious hypocrisy, and to political leaders who are antithetical to heart of Jesus.They live with the relational collateral damage of seeing people they love abandon compassion and decency; people who are growing more and more callous to the already vulnerable.They see in their daily lives and on the news and across their timelines and in their communities, exactly the kind of malevolence and toxicity they expect you to speak into with boldness and clarity as moral leaders—and instead they find you adjusting the stage lights and renovating the lobby and launching websites…
Church, people can get most of what you offer them somewhere else. They can find meaningful community and entertainment for their families and acts of service to participate in. They can get music and inspiration and affinity and relationships without you. The singular thing you can offer them is a clear and unflinching voice that emulates the voice of Jesus."
* * * * * * *
“Growing-up in the Church, I was taught that the worst thing one could be was a non-believer… The heart of the faith (I was told), was to live in a way that reflected the character and love of Jesus so vividly, so beautifully, that others were compelled to follow after Him; that a Christian’s living testimony might be the catalyst for someone’s conversion. The Bible called it “making disciples” and it was the heart of our tradition. As the venerable hymn declared, we Jesus people were to be known by our love.
What a difference a couple of decades make.
The Christianity prevalent in so much of America right now isn’t just failing to draw others to Christ, it is actively repelling them from Him. They see your hypocrisy, your inconsistency, your incredibly selective mercy...For eight years they watched you relentlessly demonize a black President, deny his personal faith convictions, argue his birthplace, and assail his character.And through it all, white evangelicals, you never once suggested that God placed him where he was, you never publicly offered prayers for him and his family, ...your evangelists never publicly thanked God for his leadership, your pastors never took to the pulpit to offer solidarity with him, you never made any effort to affirm his humanity or show the love of Jesus to him in any quantifiable measure. And yet you gave carte blanche to a white Republican man... so unapologetically vile, with such a vast resume of moral filth that the mind boggles.And the change in you is unmistakable.It has been an astonishing conversion to behold… With him, you’re now willing to offer full absolution.With him, all is forgiven without repentance or admission.With him you’re suddenly able to see some invisible, deeply buried heart.With him, sin has become unimportant, compassion no longer a requirement.With him, you only see Providence.
Your willingness to align yourself with cruelty is a costly marriage...You’ve lost an audience with millions of wise, decent, good-hearted, faithful people with eyes to see this ugliness.You’ve lost any moral high ground or spiritual authority with a generation.You’ve lost the plot.
One day soon, these same religious folks will look around, lamenting the empty buildings and the irrelevance of the church and a world that has no use for it, and they'll wonder how this happened. They'll blame a corrupt culture, or the liberal media, or a rejection of Biblical values, or the devil himself - but it will be none of those things. The Church is confirming the outside world’s most dire suspicions about itself …because thoseentrusted to perpetuate the love of Jesus in the world lost the plot so horribly and gave the world no other option but to look elsewhere for goodness and purpose and truth.
Soon these Evangelicals will ask why so much of America has rejected Jesus, and we will remind them of these days, and assure them that they have not rejected Jesus at all—they just found no evidence of Him in their Church or in them.”
(-John Pavlovitz)
Important note from me (Lindsey): My friend, Brittany Bolt, used to say "witness check - where is our witness for Christ!?" when the small group was not representing Him well in public. I always loved her courage in speaking up for that! It's incredibly rare to hear that from other Christians, but it shouldn't be. The church absolutely should CARE about the message we are sending out to the world, about whether we are drawing others to Christ or repelling them. As I said way back in 2016, where we are placing our hope matters. What unifies us matters, and character always matters deeply (for our leaders and for our lives). We cannot afford to pretend it doesn't.
I'm not saying I've done this well either - I've put too much stock in lazy comfort and not enough energy into building God's kingdom. I've veered off course and lost sight of the passion for Christ that characterized so much of my youth, but it's not unfixable. I've been convicted about that lately, and I'm learning a lot about the difference in remorse and true repentance, which I'll write more about another day. Anyway, I'm feeling more determined and hopeful about finding a healthy church and becoming an active participant in helping it stay healthy. There are massive problems that can make me feel cynical and defeated, and indeed I cannot fix things in the church nationally or globally... but I CAN find a healthy community and make a difference right here, and I need to step into that. We all have an important role in the body of Christ, and I feel like I lose sight of that and feel left out and forgotten sometimes. But God hasn't forgotten me (or you). Don't downplay your own value in the body of Christ, and don't allow others to minimize it either. You matter - your presence in the world matters - and you being present in the church matters. (That's me talking to myself and to you.) =)
Mmkay, that's all I've got for today. Happy Monday - and make it a great week ahead!!
