Photo Friday

Happy Friday, friends!!  I'm thankful we have a long weekend ahead of us... I'll be joining the Fultons (minus Kate) for a road trip to Arkansas to see Hamilton, so yay for that!

And tonight's group dinner at Charleston's will be part 3 of my birthday celebration! lol  Yay for birthday extravaganzas that last a while! =)

On Wednesday this week, I covered the afternoon docket in Bristow, then drove to meet the fam at Bravo in OKC!  It had been closed for around a year and a half with the pandemic, so I was very surprised and happy to see the "NOW OPEN" sign, and I figured it would be a good choice for my birthday this year!

We did a 5:00 dinner, and the Miss K wrote my name on this envelope in cursive (something she's learning now and very proud of)!! ❤

And now we play the add-one-more game! lol  Jace photobomed us and Kyndal kept smiling while firmly pushing him back with her arm. lolol

Then I suggested they all come over and get in the picture, and this one makes me happy!

Dinner was great, then we ran by Quail for some Great American Cookie Co. dessert!!  Mom took this pic of us outside the car with Rach joining us this time too!  (I didn't get any photos with Mom and Dad that night, but Mom's hand is in the mirror in this one, so I'll count that! lol

Bravo for Bravo being open again! =)  This restaurant was also the site of a fun surprise bday party for me 12 years ago (HERE)!

When I left for lunch yesterday, I was on the phone with Mom as I walked to my car in our CCC parking lot.  I said obliviously (out loud on the phone), "Oh wow, there's a van here from Nothing Bundt Cakes -  I didn't know they did deliveries!"  Mom:  "Ummm, that's there for you!  I told them 1:30, but they could only promise it'd be between noon and 3, so you might wanna go get it since your office is locked for lunch!" lolol  So I did, and yay for that!!

Confetti, lemon, red velvet, and snickerdoodle bundtinis + a bit bigger chocolate bundt cake... all very solid choices! =)

The weather app went back and forth hard at least four times yesterday.  I despise being the sole person in charge of making a decision for an entire group, and I hate to feel like I'm annoying others via group text, so that part of my birthday was less than ideal.  The only feedback I received was that moving the group dinner to today would be preferable, so I finally decided to do that and called Charleston's and changed our reservation after my snowy walk to the car at lunch time... then by 2pm, it was all past us and the roads were perfectly dry and clear.  UGH, whatever.  24 hours have passed with zero responses in the group, so I guess a lot of people that could go yesterday can't make it today, and I feel personally responsible and feel bad about that.  The Moss fam was free both days, and the Wilsons and Fultons can join us today, so that's happy news!  Anyway, I won't ever initiate a large group text again - it caused a disproportional amount of stress that probably stems from rejection-related issues for me, so I need to remember that and choose one-on-one texting!

I was feeling on edge from all that and a little sad and thinking it would be a birthday night by myself, then Laura suggested that we could do a low-key dinner and movie night, and I was very much on board with that idea!  So she and Tiffany came over, and we got Dominos pizza and cheesy bread + the bundtinis from Mom!!  It's been a hard week at the courthouse, and especially for the Clerk's Office after the sudden death of one of Tiffany's co-workers this past weekend, but it was good for us to debrief and catch up on life and work events at the CCC!

Tiffany had never seen Liar, Liar so that was our movie choice for the night... which made me think of JEM!  So many great quotes that are fitting for our work in the legal system, and it was really nice to watch a lighthearted, fun movie that made us laugh!  I love how much Jim Carrey commits and just goes for it with some of these lines and facial expressions! lol

Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to dinner tonight and hopefully a fun weekend ahead!  I feel very aware that this might be my last birthday without a child.  The other day, I was feeling stressed about all the life changes that will come with adoption or fostering-to-adopt... then I read this quote on a blog from March 2020.  Thanks again, Donald Miller!  (And God for timing that when I needed it.)  We have to jump in sometimes, and to paraphrase A League of Their Own, nothing worth doing comes easily - the hard is part of what makes it great!!

Happy Friday!  Enjoy your weekend!!

Level Up (38)

Today is my 38th Birthday!  A friend posted recently saying birthdays mean you're leveling up, and I'm on board with that concept. =)  It is 100% in God's hands to determine when I will graduate into heaven... but in this messy, imperfect, and beautiful game of life, I'm grateful to reach Level 38 today!  And I hope to keep moving forward and building a meaningful life with whatever time God gives me here!! ❤

Every level has its own challenges, rewards, and lessons you hold onto as you keep moving forward.  So in true "Thankful Thursday" style, today I'm stopping to celebrate and thank God for the life He has given me thus far...

1.  Intro Level:

• (1984, The Birth Year.)  I've always thought it was fun and special that God gave Babah and Grandad their first grandchild on their anniversary, February 17th!
• I'm thankful to be named "Lindsey Claire," which means "Peaceful Light" when you put them both together.... I love that and hope to live up to it! ❤
• I am deeply grateful for having parents who valued life and were excited to welcome me into their lives.
• I'm thankful that I was treasured and cared for from the beginning when so many sweet babies don't have that experience!

2.  Levels 1-6: 

• (1985-1990, The Early Years.)  From a baby to a toddler to Miss Anne's Pre-K to Kindergarten at Ridgecrest... my hair gradually got darker and darker, and I was rocking the bangs all the way through it!  
• Between eating, crawling, walking, mastering the English language, learning some basic hygiene + writing + reading + songs, etc. I probably learned more in those first 6 years than any other time period listed here!
• Due to a kidney reflux that finally resolved itself in my teenage years, I was verrry sick for several months as a toddler where all my hair fell out and I struggled to keep food down... I'm grateful God guided my parents to find good doctors and medicine that helped get that under control.  
• I'm grateful for Rachael joining our family, for Grandad babysitting, and for all the adults who loved me and filled my childhood with happy memories and made learning new things fun!

3.  Levels 7-12:  

• (1991-1996, The Grade School Years.)  First through sixth grade, moving from the cute baby teeth smile to permanent teeth and braces!
• I'm grateful for a solid foundation in a Christ-centered home + church and Sunday school + good teachers and good friends at CHA!
• I'm thankful that Mom led me to Jesus as my Savior when I was in first grade!
• I'm thankful God healed me from Bells Palsy in second grade.
• Thankful that our family moved to 9121, a house I really loved, when I was in 3rd grade!
• And I'm thankful for not just one but two rounds of Glamour Shots in this historic time period! lol ;-)

4.  Levels 13-18:  

• (1997-2002, The Teenage Years.)  Seventh grade through Senior year... navigating cliques and friendship changes, learning to drive, and spending far more time thinking about my future wedding colors than I did my future career path (an absurd problem I shared with lots of young ladies at CHA).
• The six years of braces gradually fixed my underbite, and I'm thankful Mom told me to smile as if I'm laughing (without biting down) so that my teeth would actually show in pictures - not sure why that never occurred to me on my own, but it made my smile look much better and more natural/unforced from 8th grade forward!  
• Thankful for my fun homeschool year with Mom in 8th grade (that was my first shorter haircut at 14, and I remember feeling really pretty and grown up on that picture day).  
• Grateful for fun trips to Hawaii, Florida, and Vegas in this season thanks to Babah's RNA company!
• Very thankful God healed me again from a much longer round of Bells Palsy in 10th grade!
• And I'm thankful that we had a fun house where people liked to come hang out, so I have lots of great memories with friends and family throughout my junior high and high school years!

5.  Levels 19-24:  

• (2003-2008, The "Pretty, But Dumb" Years.)  So. much. life change happened in this period... Business Major at OBU, Court Reporting Major at Rose State, moved to a dorm in Shawnee then moved back home, started my career at age 20 in Chickasha, fell in love/obsessive infatuation with Josh, took a job near Tulsa to be closer to him, bought my first home, abruptly cut off by Josh and his entire friend group, low point and faith crisis in 2007, gradually formed an entirely new friend circle through my Tulsa lifegroup!
• Without realizing it on either side at the time, I was at my most physically beautiful but also at my dumbest through this season... (I enjoy learning and I'm intelligent in an intellectual/academic sense, but fully assuming that marriage would play out according to my 7-7-07 life plan and choosing to rush through school rather than carefully considering my future career path was dumb.  And putting people above God and trying to morph into someone else rather than standing in my own unique identity in Christ was dumb, too... that will set you up for a haaard fall every time!)
• I have grace for myself looking back, and I'm grateful for the way God protected me in spite of my own stupidity and cluelessness, and sometimes just being cringey and manipulative at this age.
• I'm thankful for the way God gently walked me through that intense rejection and faith crisis, bringing me closer to Him in a more authentic way than untested 'name it and claim it' faith could ever do.
• I'm thankful that He led me to a job that's been a really good fit for me thus far, and for all the ways He was faithful in bringing people in and out of my life for my own good and His glory! 

6.  Levels 25-30:

• (2009-2014, The Malori Years.)  That was the overarching theme of this period of life for me - we were roommates and best friends in 2009; she was there for me through family drama/isolation, learning about my personality, and rebuilding my sense of identity in 2010 and 2011; she encouraged me to go back to school and earn my degree in 2012; she inexplicably cut me off in 2013; and 2014 was a lot of unnecessary self-blame and trying to recover a sense of belonging and worthiness.
• This six-year period included some extreme weight loss and extreme weight gain (lots of contributing outside factors at play there, and I'm choosing grace and self-compassion on all that), a terrible church-backed prayer ministry experience, several fun vacations with friends and family, being a bridesmaid in two weddings, facing depression and seeking help with antidepressants and counseling, and completing my first 3 Half Marathons.
• I'm grateful for how God has used the hard and unfair things to shape me.  Thankful for my time at SNU, for God's grace in surrounding me with supportive friends who helped hold me together when life seemed to fall apart, and for great memories from three amazing Vegas trips in this season!!
• Hmm, these pics are making me consider cutting bangs again - red with bangs feels like a signature look for me. lol

7.  Levels 31-36:

• (2015-2020, The Peaceful Rebuilding Years.)  In spite of the global pandemic and the death of sweet Grandad, these years were mostly filled with good memories and quiet, simple progress.
• I'm grateful for growing in my personal security and in my walk with God, feeling more deeply aware of His kindness and faithfulness the more I seek Him and the more I write and reflect on life!
• Thankful for two more Vegas trips and an amazing family trip to Niagara Falls and NYC!
• Thankful for being more authentic and feeling more connected and valued as a friend, daughter, sister, and "Aunt Lindsey!" ❤
• Grateful for life-changing books (The Joy of Movement, Atomic Habits) that inspired me to get serious in my exercise routine... and so thankful for Peloton making it fun and offering the perfect mix of variety and familiarity for me in my daily workouts!
• Thankful for the Friday Night Dinners helping me build some confidence in my ability to host, cook, and facilitate meaningful connections/good conversations with friends!
• Happy to feel more secure in my singleness, more empowered in my friendships, and more content with my work life!
• Thankful for good counselors, personal growth, and working toward healthier relationships with friends and family!!

8.  Level 37-42

• (2021-2026, The Healthy Parent Years?)  My hope and plan for this set of years is that the overarching themes will be pursuing and then maintaining good health AND adopting a child and stepping into the role of "Mom!"
• As a single woman, I'm grateful God gave me the courage and confirmation I needed to start the adoption process, which has already included multiple small steps that required bravery and hope.  I love that it's strengthening my faith and confidence and giving me a very clear reason to pray and seek God's grace and guidance every day!
• Grateful that I've made great progress in my mental/emotional/spiritual health and in building good exercise habits.  And I am determined to improve my nutrition habits and overall physical health... it's easy to coast on old habits and comfort foods and be apathetic and feel defeatist about the possibility of change there, but I want to set a good example and live a healthier lifestyle that enables me to be a more active parent with a longer lifespan... so I have to do the work and get serious about the pursuit of better nutrition and physical health!  It's a deeply-rooted mental and physical stronghold that I need to break in order to build the future I truly desire.
• I'm expecting good things and determined to do the day-to-day work toward building a more meaningful life!  As always, there are some things I'm working on with God and working out in my soul... but overall, I'm excited about where I am and what God is doing right now, and I'm looking forward to creating a bright future with His help!!

I set this to publish at 2:17 AM on 2-17 because cheesy things like that make me happy. =)

Thanks for being here to read and thanks for being a part of my real life, friends and fam!  "Level 40" is coming up soon, and for the first time in my life thus far, that one feels a bit daunting in my mind.  But hopefully I can prepare for it over the next two years and step into it with confidence and peace when I get there.  I know "level up" is a gaming term, but it's also a phrase they use a lot in Peloton, so it makes me happy to reframe birthdays and aging in that way!  There are future unknowns and there are certainly people that I miss from past seasons, and in spite of many long-term friendships, I struggle with loneliness more often than I would like lately.  I don't have everything I want in my life right now (I'm guessing no one does), but I'm also very aware that life is a gift, and becoming more aware that I have the power to create meaningful change... I have much to be grateful for and so many good things to keep reaching toward and conquering as I continue to level up!  

So Happy Birthday to me... let's do this!! =)

And Happy Thursday to all of you.  Hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead! ❤

February Overload

Hey, friends!  It's been such a busy month so far, and we're not even halfway through it.  Lots of fun events and birthdays, along with some hard moments.  Last week was unusually busy at work, and I was working on an important creative project at night... and my whole body was feeling the tension as I was very worried for my friend whose brother had gone missing (he was found on the 11th, but was basically presumed dead before that, and it was all very emotionally intense - being in limbo is one of the worst feelings, especially as good news feels more and more unlikely, so I'm very grateful for this outcome for her and her family!)  

Anyway, I'm gonna try and catch up a bit on blogging tonight, so here goes...

I went to Tate's 4th birthday party yesterday, a fun time with good friends and the cutest fire truck cake!! ❤

Karli made this balloon-filled "4" -- impressive!

I'm never sure about age-appropriate toys with kids, but I got him this random squashy stuffed animal, and I'm happy to report that it was a hit!

That night, I took T-man driving and we had a good talk... then we grabbed Olive Garden to-go and joined the fam for dinner at Mom and Dad's!  That included watching Jace do several rows of Mountain Dew shots...

And watching Kyndal try to shock Rach by blasting her music really loud when she put the headphones on! lol

Friday was Rachael's 36th birthday!  I posted this epic fashion-forward sister pic of us from yesteryear... lol

The 11th was also the 1st birthday of Miss Waverly Jean - so much cuteness! ❤

The 12th was the birthday of Eddie Kaufholz (from Annie and Eddie Keep Talking).  I wrote him a long email detailing how much I admire and appreciate him, and how much I've enjoyed that podcast and hope they might bring it back someday.  Fingers crossed that he actually reads it at some point, but I'm glad I wrote it either way! ❤

Two "birthday gifts" from me to me = this awesomesauce Peloton quote board (all Robin Arzon quotes) which is now hanging in my kitchen... and this $10 iPhone cover that makes me happy! ❤

Adding to the list of February birthdays is Wesson and Nash, who turned 5 on the 6th... I made this happy collage for Kristin for their birthday! ❤

And Tuesday will be their oldest brother Anthony's 10th birthday, so I made this canvas for Kristin in honor of that milestone... trying to include lots of details that would be meaningful for her family.  I really enjoyed working on this one, and it was a good reminder of our firm and secure hope through Christ!

I gave it to her today after our lunch at Oliveto... and without planning it out, this was exactly one year to the day after giving Lindsay a similar family portrait sketch the day they brought Wavy J home from the hospital!  (Today = two days after her birth and two days before Anthony's).

In much lighter and more random news, Dad got breakfast biscuits for us today, and they were in the shape of a heart... yay, Valentinesy cuteness! lol  I want all my food to be heart-shaped, please.

The Miss K is learning cursive this year and wrote our names for me to prove her new skills. ❤

It was a fun night with the fam + the Parrishes + Bill & Jill + Rick and Michelle + an exciting Halftime show with a surprise appearance from 50 Cent (I still laugh at the memory of reading his autobiography thanks to a deal I made with Rach many years ago)!  

This week also included some baking... Pioneer Woman's banana bread (I added chocolate chips and might skip that part next time).  This was also my first time baking anything in a bundt pan! =)  And the Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Sheet Cake using Heath instead of pecans - yum!!

I went through all my file folders and organized things during our snow days last weekend... I went through every card I've saved, and by the time I was done, I had teared up several times, this being one of them (from Grandad on Christmas Eve 2015).  The "yuk yuk" instead of "haha" or "lol" made me laugh, and his kind words and reminiscing about babysitting made me cry, and him giving Babah the credit for their super generous gift = a classic Grandad move! ❤

Another thing that made me full-on cry = this cheesy commercial, the first one they played in Craig's 30 Second Theology sermon today.  He paused it in between the destruction and restoration scene to talk about how painful it is when we face the unexpected loss of something we really valued and worked hard to save... but how God is a God of restoration and He knows how to rebuild things (or people or dreams) that have been crushed.  Between that and everyone around her pitching in to help her make something new and the year-long timeline before this fragile thing she worked to build and tried so hard to save was irreparably shattered, it was all such a freaking perfect metaphor for my friendships.  And in the end, we can always build something new... and it's the connections with the people who were beside her through every season that mattered, not the imagined connection with something that was incapable of giving much back. It spoke a lot of things to my heart in a very brief time, one of those "a picture is worth a thousand words" moments.  Then I felt emotional through the rest of the sermon, but such is life sometimes. ❤

Aaaand that's all I've got for this happy Sunday!  Good night!!

Hero on a Mission

 Buy this book.  (Or the audiobook read by the author, if you enjoy those like I do!)

I can't possibly do this justice, but I need to go ahead and write it anyway.  Donald Miller is currently right up there in the running with John Eldredge for my favorite author.  Both of them have written multiple books that have spoken to my heart at the perfect time (thanks, God) and changed my life and offered new perspective.  I'm probably more theologically aligned with Eldredge, but I really love Donald Miller's work and find his life inspiring, and this new book is my favorite of his thus far!

It's worth the money for the first chapter alone...

He starts by saying that every story has a Victim, a Villain, a Hero, and a Guide.

• The VICTIM gets stuck wallowing in their own pain.  They feel sorry for themselves, and you mostly feel sorry for them.  They are there to make the hero look good and make the villain look bad, but their role is small and they fail to transform or find meaning in their pain.
• The VILLAIN tries to make others small.  They are bitter about their painful experiences, and they try to make themselves feel more powerful by belittling, controlling, or hurting others.
• The HERO accepts hard realities, finds meaning and purpose in their suffering, desires something specific for their life, and has the courage to transform and create something meaningful!
• The GUIDE uses their wisdom from past experiences to help others rise up, speaking life and encouragement over their dreams and goals, and offering practical guidance and meaningful advice as they move through their story! 

Metaphors work so well for me, and my heart got this immediately.  He calls this book an antidote to victim mentality. ❤

As complex human beings, we all have it inside us to play all four of those roles.  T-Swift is a good example of how we can be all four, or you can look back at your life and see that clearly, just like I can.  This book is saying that we need to pay attention to it when "Victim Energy" or "Villain Energy" surfaces... knowing that it will pull us (and the people around us) down rather than adding meaning and value to our lives!!  

*We all face hard things over the course of life (to varying degrees, but we all have pain), and the difference is purely in how we react after our painful circumstances.

Don says we each have great potential to live a story that is meaningful to us, and we shouldn't sit around waiting for God or fate to direct our path.  God has given us creative agency and specific gifts and talents, and He wants us to have the courage to invest them and build something, like in the parable of the talents.  We should take action and pursue things that sound interesting and meaningful to us - really thinking it over and choosing something that will bring us joy, honor God, and be beneficial to others!  

You might have a unique vision to build something new, or you can join a story that matters to you.  I loved it when he said that a lot of people are not visionary personalities with a specific, grand dream... but you can find just as much meaning and purpose and community in joining and supporting someone else's vision and meaningful story, so long as it's something and/or someone that really matters to you!  I've found that to be true in the past, and it's clarifying as I start to seek more meaning now.

He also said that the story you live and create in your relationships is more beautiful and important than any story focused on money and career, so don't undervalue it -- loved that too.  He encourages the reader to focus on finding narrative traction (building a life story that is going somewhere) and doing things you find interesting/meaningful rather than focusing on self-actualization and fulfilling your potential - again, I loved that, and it takes the pressure off!  It can go a million different ways, but find something that interests you and be engaged in the story you're telling with your work or your relationships or your health!

He also talked about how victim energy is a perfectly good and appropriate coping tool following any tragedy or rejection or painful situation - we don't need to feign happiness all the time or pretend that loss is not deeply hard on our hearts... but we should be careful not to let ourselves get stuck there, struggling to find meaning and hope.  Because the Victim does not transform or find a redemptive perspective where they can see the value in what they went through; the Hero does.  The Villain and the Hero both want to feel more powerful, but one does it by hating themselves and making others smaller, and one does it by transforming themselves and living a meaningful story.

And that's just the summary of chapter one.  lol

He goes on to offer some great insight from years of experience about how to build a meaningful story, how to set priorities and live that out day by day.  He emphasizes that when any major story or goal we've been moving toward comes to an end, we need to be sure to find another story and a new goal.  Dream a new dream.  Until we die, we should always have at least one (and up to three) meaningful goals that we are actively pursuing, big or small, alone or joining with others!!  We get one life here, and we get to choose whether we play the victim, the villain, the hero, or the guide.  Only two of those roles will add meaning and value to our lives and others.  I LOVE THAT! ❤

(*If this interests you, for the next five days, you could learn more about it by watching the free livestream HERE.)

...I've been a fan of Donald's writing since the days of Blue Like Jazz, a book I read with Angie, Bobbi, and Hannah in a 2008 book club! =)

Since that time, he authored A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Storyline, Scary Close, and now Hero on a Mission.  His life has transformed in so many ways over the past decade, and it's been fantastic and inspiring to follow along with that as I read the above books.  He set big goals, lost weight, founded a company, got married, built a retreat center, had a child, wrote several books, etc.  He is not done - he has several wonderful goals in mind for the days and years ahead!  He talks about how his early writing was often more victim mentality thinking, and I can see that.  Nowadays, he is using his time and energy to help true victims (people who genuinely need someone to rescue them from abuse, violence, or slavery) rather than wallowing in ongoing self-pity over his own past, and I love that more than I can say.  He has become the Hero who moves with courage, and he is the insightful Guide in many ways, as well.  He really has transformed, and that's a huge part of what makes these books ring true for me!

Anyway, yaaaay for Donald Miller (and Betsy and Emmaline).  Yay for his story and his books and his mission, and yay for feeling inspired to live a more meaningful story with my own life!!

As Peloton's Tunde Oyenin would say,
"It's a great day to go out and create great change!"

TEN!

BIRTH

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

Happy 10th birthday to my nephew, Jace Michael Parrish today!! ❤

(*Click on any number birth - nine above to link to that year's birthday post... yay for the blog record!)

This = four of my favorite pics of him this year. lol

 

He's an entertaining one for sure, and pretty happy to be the center of attention! lol

(This = him at our Pelicans dinner celebrating his eye therapy success!)

"May God bless and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the light surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

May you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful

And may your song always be sung

May you stay forever young!"

~Forever Young, Bob Dylan

(Parenthood theme song)

Happy Birthday also to Tate Haywood and to Nikki Anderson!

Happy 2-02-2022, and Happy Groundhog Day!

And happy snow day to those who are off work or school! =)

...We have some crazy winter weather predicted that hasn't quite hit us just yet, but they closed most of the schools ahead of time.  Rach brought a cookiecake for Jace and his class yesterday, so I'm glad they got to celebrate, and hopefully he's having a lovely day so far today!  Anyway, Laura and I are about to head home early, and I'm pretty happy about that.  Stay safe and cozy, my friends! ❤