Top 10 Favorite Moments

Happy Friday, friends. ❤  This month is really flying by!

This is my last "Decade in Review" post.  I've had fun taking a look back and reflecting on some key lessons and big memories, and I'm blown away by what God has done in my life over the past ten years and even just this month!  Here are ten of my favorite moments from the past decade, which are so impossible to narrow down, so these are just listed in random order as they pop into my head -- some fun and some serious.

1.  The "Forbidden Broadway" ice cream sundae challenge, Serendipity, Vegas 2010! =)

2. I don't have a picture from this exact day, but on one of the many LaFortune jogs with Bobbi back in the day, she was upset about something and trying not to think about it... so I suggested that we quote verses back and forth to get our minds on better things.  And we jogged along for 3 miles going back and forth with every Bible verse that we could think of.  It was fun and it kept our minds off life drama and running pains, and it seemed to have a strengthening effect all around!  =)  (I've done that in my head a few times at Planet Fitness since, but there was something special about saying it out loud with a friend.)

3.  The OKC road trip in April 2011.  Lots of fun memories that weekend... but what stands out to me is JEM's Justin Bieber quotes! =)

4.  Words won't really do this one justice, but this quiet, picture-perfect moment in early September 2013 was a turning point for me.  While holding my precious, cuddly newborn niece for a while and admiring her tiny little fingers and beautiful eyes and innocent spirit, singing to her and praying over her future, God was at work shifting something in my heart.  Right in the midst of the darkness of depression and feeling discardable and very shaken by several massive disappointments, a lot of things became really clear to me.  I decided that day that my niece and nephews would not grow up wondering what it might have been like to know their Aunt Lindsey... that my family would not ever have that dark cloud of confusion and avoidable loss hanging over them, that Satan would not be victorious there.  I made a very firm commitment to seek God and choose life no matter how difficult or dark things became.  My mindset is in such a healthier place now that it feels strange even writing about that, but it happened and it mattered, and I am inexpressibly thankful for God's comfort and grace through that season!! ❤
(*And would love to listen and be present and help you find your way through the darkness if ever you find yourself in a similar heavy place. There is more light ahead, and it's worth holding on.)

5. Deciding to start the Friday night dinners! =)  All of them were great, but what stands out in my mind now is our going away pool party for Mindi where we all shared stories and encouragement and prayed over her! ❤

6.  Sarah Elizabeth baking some monkey bread to comfort me when I was upset... and everything going terribly wrong and becoming hilarious! =)  I left that night in a haze of smoke from the burned butter, but feeling better about life. "Sorry for choking you with the stench of my failure!" is still one of my favorite Sarah quotes. lol

7.  Introducing Chet & co. to Pitch Perfect. lol  A memorable movie day, and one I've laughed about now that it's become one of his favorite and most-quoted movies! =)

8.  Ziplining over Niagara Falls with Dad and Bill... one of many awesome new experiences I had in Canada! =)

9.  Babah and Grandad's surprise gift for us on Christmas Eve 2015... I'm so thankful he got to be there for that!  =)

10.  This year's Super Bowl Party at Mom and Dad's house... fun times and laughter and good food with all the family friends + celebrating 30 years of their league + planning Rick and Connie's wedding! =)

And in conclusion, here's a happy slideshow with 100 pictures (10 per year) through the past decade!!

 

That's all for now.  Hope you have a lovely weekend! ❤

New Relationships (Decade in Review)

SO MUCH happens in a decade!!!  One of the best things to come out of the past ten years is the new relationships I have formed with friends and family members I didn't know (or that didn't yet exist) on this day ten years ago.  It is crazy to think how different my life would be without these people who have become so significant to me now!

(*To be clear, I met Chettles, Sarah Elizabeth, Kristin, Laura, etc. before 2010, so that's why they are not featured here.)

Listed by Order of Appearance in My Life.  (Click name for link to Tribute post.) ❤

1.  JEFFREY EDWARD, aka JEM, February 2010 -- who knew when we were dancing the Copperhead Road and Boot Scootin' Boogie that we'd end up being such great friends ten years later? lol  I met JEM at the Caravan, and I have lots of fun memories of dancing with him and the other guys there.  Then there was my Valentine's party (which he still refers to as the "Lonely Hearts Club"), followed by the infamous roach incident, and then the Vegas trip of 2010 that really solidified our friendship. =)  He cancelled other plans so he could be there for me on one of the worst days of my life, and I will not forget that.  I am thankful for Jeffrey... for his generosity (example: he paid for several meals and bought everyone tickets to see Zarkana when we went to Vegas in 2014), his hilarious stories (J-Biebs and the airplane come to mind), his finesse and canivery (getting me to go on the hike in Vegas), his love of reminiscing and looking through scrapbooks (makes it feel more worth the time it takes to create them), and how much he loves this blog (like reminding me about quotables or asking me to write a memory post about an NYC trip I wasn't there for). lolol

2.  TRISTON MICHAEL, aka T-Man, May 2010 -- I met adorable tiny toddlers T&C for the first time on Mother's Day in 2010 (here), clearly having no idea that they would end up being my nephews and taking up so much space in my heart and life! ❤  I love how my relationship with T-man has changed as he's grown from a three-year-old to an awesome preteen!  We FaceTime and email and play fun texting games, and I love learning what he's interested in right now.  He's helping plan our family's Disney trip details, and I'll be going to Washington D.C. with him and his 6th Grade class this coming April! =)

3.  CARTER LEE, aka Carterman, May 2010 -- I met the boys on the same day (obviously), and it's been a privilege to watch them grow and learn more about their hearts and personalities!  Carter is fun, athletic, naturally cool, and tenderhearted.  I'm praying for so many good things for these kids and their futures!

T&C through the years. ❤

4.  KARLI MARIE, May 2011 -- I met Karli during the Diving Deeper Lifegroup days, where it was obvious that she had a lot of Biblical wisdom and spiritual maturity as one of our leaders.  She and Chet started dating and eventually got married, and now they have Tater-tot, who's one of my favorite toddlers to hang out with!  Karli is a great wife, mom, decorator, and hostess!  The Wilson and Weatherford families mean so much to me, and I feel thankful for the way Karli and her family accepted and embraced me because I know my life would look very different now if that were not the case.

5.  KYLE BRANDON, aka Tall Kyle, May 2011 -- I'm thankful for Kyle's kindness and chivalry, for his thoughtful Thank You notes, his telling facial expressions, and the way he quietly serves others!  At my first Friday night dinner, we all named something on our bucket list, and his was seeing Celine Dion in concert... an answer that cracked me up and made me happy!  That dream will come true when she comes to Tulsa in February, so I'm excited to get to be there for that... I feel confident that Chet and Kyle will be more psyched about it than me, Karli, or Sarah! lol

6.  JACE MICHAEL, aka Jaceman, February 2012 -- Oh, the Jaceman!  So cute and cuddly as a baby... and so much joy and fun and extroverted entertainment now!  I love that he befriends everyone he meets and feels the need to greet them even when he can't remember their names. lol  I think it's crazy but really cute that he has a long-distance girlfriend (Claire) whose family moved to Italy, but they've kept in touch and sent each other notes for the past three years.  He's super active and full of energy, but will occasionally sit down long enough to read me something or show me his notebook.  In the pic below, he told me it seemed like I wasn't "the real Lindsey" with my hair fixed like that.  That and his "gift giraffe" are two of my favorite Jace memories. lol

7.   KELLY MARIE, August 2012 -- I met Kelly through the DDLG, and we became closer when I joined the Women's Lifegroup that she was leading in 2013.  She was an awesome leader for that group for the 4-5 years we all met, and I have several fun memories with her (including this fair trip on the day I held one of their chickens for the first and last time - lol).  She's a great wife to Jeff and mom to sweet Ellie!  I'm thankful for her kindness, her thoughtful notes, her feisty side, and the friendship I have with their family!

8.  TIFFANY JOANNE, April 2013 -- I met Tiffany when we were all sharing testimonies at the Women's Lifegroup.  She spoke up and briefly shared her story, and I immediately wanted to talk to her one on one.  When I found myself with an extra Justin Timberlake ticket later that year, she was the first to speak up wanting to join me... so that was the first time we really hung out and got to know each other, and it's such a fun memory!  We became movie buddies and formed a close friendship where we've had a lot of fun but also supported each other through heartbreak and loss, and now she works with me and Laura in good ol' Creek County!  I am thankful for Tiffany's kindness and friendship, for our shared love of old school rap songs, for the memory of us going to Hurts Donuts a week or so into our "fast from sweets,"  and for her example of resilient joy and strength!

9.  KYNDAL FAITH, aka Mini Miss K, August 2013 -- This preshface can always brighten my day!  She's equal parts sweet and sassy, tomboy and girly girl, sensitive and fierce... and I love that!  I love that she gets excited to see me and asks to sit by me.  I love the expressive way she tells stories about her day, and how committed she is to practicing her gymnastics moves until she gets them right.  I think it's hilarious that when she wore her hair in a ponytail this summer, she said, "Look, now I'm Lindsey." (*Must wear my hair down more often.* lol)  She's funny and smart and playful and adorable.  Her tiny heart is very relational and sensitive, and she's already experienced more worry and heartbreak than any 6-year-old should have to deal with.  I'm praying for her heart and soul to continue to heal (along with her brothers, who each express their pain differently), and for them to grow up feeling confident and secure in how much they are loved!  I'm so very thankful I get to be their aunt, and for all the joy and great memories they've given me!! ❤

10.  ELIZABETH JANE, aka E-Beth, March 2017 -- One of my newer friendships (which is strange as it feels like we've known each other longer), but definitely one of my favorite people!!  I love having an OKC friend again that I can visit when I'm in town, and I love our long conversations over fried okra and BBQ... or pizookies. lol  Talks that range from politics and church stories to favorite foods and movies to crazy work stories and book projects and life goals!  I'm thankful for fun game days with her and Jonathan!  And I'm thankful for Elizabeth's sense of humor, her encouragement and kindness, her example of personal strength, and of course, her great proofreading skills. lol

Where, oh where would my life be without all of you!?

*The very long list of friends I've met in this decade also includes but is not limited to Brittany Bolt, Jon Foster, Angie Gomez, Elizabeth Cheney, Lindsay Hainzinger-Johnson, Evan and Jessica Myers, Audrey Bixler, Lynette Layden, and my Evergreen Lifegroup!!  I'm deeply grateful for the way God works through every person He brings into our lives... strong, supportive relational connections are so valuable to our mental health and happiness!  I am also thankful that God Himself is ever-present and faithful, even as our personal relationships naturally ebb and flow!! ❤

Top 10 Movies Released

I'm flying through these posts so that I can focus on fun Christmasy things the rest of December... I'm almost sure there are some movies I'm forgetting, but these ten stand out in my mind at the moment as my favorite movies released during the past decade:

10.  The Social Network -- "You better lawyer up..." is a moment that'll always make me smile!  This one has grown on me the more I've watched it - so much snark and sarcasm and fast-paced dialogue - it's definitely on the favorites list for me.

9.  The Help -- I can't get enough of stories that highlight the power of courage and friendship, and this movie does both with great characters and an important story!

8.  About Time -- The lead guy in this one is so delightfully precious, and I love the ending monologue.  It was sweet and quirky and had several funny moments... but for personal reasons, I have never cried so hard in the theater during a movie, so this one has always stood out to me.

7.  Hunger Games -- (Humming the mockingjay tune to myself.)  Great books and a good movie.  The first one is still my favorite of the series!  The salute scenes always get me.

6.  Bohemian Rhapsody -- This makes my list mostly for the soundtrack, but the acting was on point, as well!

5.  The King's Speech -- Colin Firth at his best.  A simple but powerful story that focuses on the beauty of friendship and courage.

4.  Cinderella (live version) -- "Have courage, and be kind!"  Love Lily James, loved the dress, and loved this movie.

3.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 -- The movie that inspired me to finally read the books.  So brilliant - can't say enough good things about this or J.K. Rowling!

2.  Avengers Endgame -- "It's not about how much we've lost; it's about how much we have left!"  Love all the Avengers movies, and this was an amazing conclusion to that entire saga.  The circles scene will always make me tear up!  We have more outside support and inner power than we realize.

1.  The Greatest Showman -- seven times in theaters was almost a record for me... almost. ;-)  Such a fantastic, heartwarming, well-done musical!!  The first time I saw it (opening night) was truly a transcendent theater experience where I kept waiting for a moment of disappointing letdown but it never came... nothing but effervescent joy from start to finish!

*Honorable Mention:  Hidden Figures, Wonder Woman,  Toy Story 3, and Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Top 10 Books Read

I've read several good books over the past ten years... and I've listened to even more!  I'm ever so thankful for the discovery of Audible and Hoopla (the free library app that includes audiobooks).

Here are a few books I really enjoyed (click book name for link):

10.  Quiet by Susan Cain -- helped me to value and better understand my introvert self =)

9.  Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist -- relatable stories that encouraged me through a difficult time

8.  Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott -- awesome, blunt, and witty writing advice

7.  Remember God by Annie F. Downs... relatable Christian single stories that focus on God's faithfulness

6.  Presence by Amy Cuddy -- learning how our body language affects our confidence and the way others perceive us, and how to change that for the better

5.  A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis -- very short and sobering, but so many good thoughts there

4.  Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend -- something I wish I had read sooner

3.  Little Women by Louis May Alcott -- beautiful characters and stories; read it several times now

2.  Friendships Don't Just Happen by Shasta Nelson -- clear relational advice for building a healthy circle of friends

1.  Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling -- the link is about Order of the Phoenix, but I'm not even trying to narrow it down to one book here - I've listened to the whole series at least 3 times, and I love it!

1.  Waking the Dead by John Eldredge -- a redemptive book that was especially meaningful to me

Honorable Mention:  Scary Close by Donald Miller, All Things New by John Eldredge, Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist, The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigle, and Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst!

"Today is a gift.  And if we have tomorrow, tomorrow will be a gift.  We held hands and thanked God for the darkness, and for the way the darkness had become light...  and for the very complicated joys that come from loss, from failure, from reaching the bottom and pushing back up to the light!  Thank You, God, for the things You heal, the things You redeem, the things You refuse to leave just as they have been for what seems like forever." ❤

~Shauna Niequist

❤❤❤

Top 10 Blog Posts!

This post will be short and sweet.  I've been blogging since 2008, and below are links to ten of my favorite posts written over the past decade.  (*I'm going with deeper, more thoughtful posts for this list since I'm covering favorite vacations and fun memories in another Decade in Review post.) ❤

1.  You Do Care
2.  Family Friendships
3.  To Weep With Those Who Weep
4.  The Tentmaker
5.  Lewis on Grief
6.  Altered Perception
7.  Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
8.  You Do Not Have to Worry
9.  A Bit of Advice...
10. My First 30 Years in Pictures

In other news, Sarah Bliss (an old friend from the Josh and Co. days of yesteryear) took the initiative to reach out to me this week with a really kind email, and reconnecting with her has made me happy!  I feel deeply thankful for the way time has softened and grown and changed us both.  And I'm abundantly grateful for the reminder that broken people and broken friendships can be mended and healed with a bit of effort and kindness! ❤

So on that hope-filled note, here's a Photo Friday collage of 2005-2008 Lindsey and Sarah. =)

To anyone reading this, thanks for being one of my few but faithful readers.  Hope you're having a good Friday the 13th! =)

Difficult Losses (Decade in Review)

"There are moments that the words don't reach.

There is suffering too terrible to name...

The moments when you're in so deep

It feels easier to just swim down.

The Hamiltons move uptown,

And learn to live with the unimaginable."

~It's Quiet Uptown, (Hamilton)

I so love the way that song depicts grief (and having no choice but to keep moving forward in the midst of it).  Our losses are deeply personal and no one can fully understand another's experiences or emotions, nor should we compare pain or seek to minimize someone else's suffering because it differs from ours, or vice versa.  Your pain is valid and it matters to God, and so does mine. ❤  And our suffering (when we are in Christ) is never without purpose.

I'm now halfway through my "Decade in Review" posts, and the remaining five posts will be more joyful and lighthearted (and probably shorter).  But today, I am thinking through some of the painful losses I've experienced over the past decade, listed in random order... 

10.  March 5, 2019.  Grandad's stroke this summer, followed by the gradual decline of his physical strength and joy and will to live.  Ambiguous losses like this are often more painful and emotionally complicated than losses that leave you with a clearly defined sense of closure. That season only lasted five months, but it was sad and terrible to witness, and we felt powerless to change the situation.  It softened the blow of his death tremendously because we all knew he was ready to go, and it caused me to question things and broadened my perspective and increased my compassion for others in similar circumstances.

9.  September 21, 2014.  (I had to look that date up... when I sent the lengthy email to Battlecreek about the corrupt prayer ministry they endorse).  What happened there and especially the way the church responded to it (or completely failed to respond or acknowledge my existence) drastically lowered my respect for those leaders and shifted my mindset as I look at other churches (and their treatment of men vs. women, people with lots of $$ and power vs. people with lots of love for Jesus, etc.)  So this one is more vague, but I definitely lost something in that season... the deep sense of trust and the feeling of peace and safety and camaraderie I once felt whenever I stepped into church circles is gone, and I have yet to recover it.  I am more aware of legitimate problems within the church than ever before, and I'm really not sure how to deal with that, particularly when female voices are often undervalued.  My guard is up and my crazy-Christian radar is always on (and staying busy), and I hope that continues to soften a bit as time moves forward.  I grew up feeling like the church was a wonderful safe-haven and refuge where my soul was always at peace, but I guess it's healthier to look to God for all of that anyway!

8.  January 4, 2013.  The day we learned the Diving Deeper South Lifegroup was ending.  I helped get that group going in 2008, so it really meant a lot to me, and I felt it when it ended.  As I put it back then:  "I learned that the singles Lifegroup I've been a part of for years is now disbanding - something I'd been expecting with the growing number of couples, but the transition period is still a bit sad.  It's hard that I will no longer see my close Christian friends every week, hard to be one of the few remaining singles for the second time, and hard knowing I have to find a new group and begin again."

7.  March 1, 2013.  The tragic and heartbreaking loss of baby Anthony.  He was a fighter through his brief time on earth, and he was and still is deeply loved!

6.  April 29, 2013.  That was the day I met with a psychiatrist and was assigned to a therapist and began taking antidepressants... which meant the loss of my self-sufficient pride and my twisted spiritual guilt about seeking any help outside of prayer!  (A really healthy loss, obviously, but it took some internal wrestling and it was difficult for me.)

5.  October 16, 2016.  Mark Richards passed away after battling cancer.  He was one of a kind... such a fun person and a great friend to our family through the CHA years, and I miss him!  (*A random and possibly inappropriate story, but I remember the day Rach texted me with that news I was at a Harry Potter movie marathon at Cinemark.  In between the 6th and 7th movie, I started crying thinking about Mark and went to the bathroom to fix my makeup.  A random woman who was also in the HP movies saw me crying and said, "Dumbledore!?  That funeral scene always gets me, too!!" I didn't have the heart to explain the real story to her, but it did help lighten the moment.)

4.  August 21, 2019.  Grandad -- losing the strong, loving, gentle patriarch of Mom's side of the family is something we've just begun to really feel and process.  I'm so thankful for the relationship I had with him and that he knew he was loved and nothing was left unsaid, but we will definitely feel his absence this Christmas Eve.

3.  July 17, 2017.  The world's best and cutest girlfranz, Sam-puffins and a Bellsy, leaving my house to go live with David.  It was in their best interest (and mine with all the allergy issues), but I do miss their fluffity little playful diva selves greeting me and snuggling with me while I watched TV at night!  I'm excited to see them soon and give them their comfy new dog beds. =)

2.  ??.  No specific date to put down since this is another very ambiguous loss, but through the past decade, I've had to gradually let go of (or drastically loosen my grip on) the lovely family dream I envisioned for myself.  The marriage-and-family timeline I once had in mind has come and gone twice now, and in many ways, that was for the best.  I'm not complaining or feeling any sense of desperation, but simply acknowledging that this was never my plan, and sometimes the sense of being un-chosen and missing out on the beauty of starting my own family with a good husband is painful and disheartening.  (God may still have a remix in store that changes things in a way I can't yet imagine, but marriage looks unlikely.  Single motherhood through adoption is a distinct and exciting possibility, but a more challenging path than I would have preferred if given the choice.)

1.  August 26, 2013.  The sudden, deliberate severing of my six-year best friendship is the most painful and confusing loss I have personally endured to date, this decade or any other.  Grieving the loss of someone so close to you who is still alive is one of the most difficult things for any human being -- broken relationships are verrrry hard on our souls.  Sometimes I also miss the part of me that I lost then.  Looking back on the way things ended between us still makes me feel sad, but it no longer makes me doubt my own worth, so I am thankful for that progress!

Top 10 Lessons Learned

Hmm, writing this post is a tall order!  I've put some thought into the major lessons I've learned over the past ten years, and here's what I've got:

1.  The importance of discernment and boundaries... to trust my intuition and listen to the Voice inside when it starts throwing up red flags (like when I realized the prayer ministry I signed up for was full-tilt crazy).  Also, learning that when my safety or sanity feels threatened, it's okay to drop the niceties and say no or walk away!

2.  Contrary to popular opinion, Christian values and conservative values are NOT always in alignment, and it's more important than ever to pay attention to people's character and to follow and emulate the ways of Christ (Col. 3:12)!

3.  "Never ever ever give up."  ~Michael Scott, quoting Winston Churchill ;-)
For real, though, your life and your presence matters!!  After losing touch with a startling number of people I was once close to, I began to doubt whether my presence really mattered to others, or whether my absence made any difference (a twisted lie from the enemy, but that arrow was sharp and painful.)  I have learned over time to choose life and to seek help when things feel dark and meaningless.... that it's worth holding on and fighting through those painful times because there is always more light ahead of you and more people who love and need you, and God has more in store for your future!  We are all more resilient than we tend to believe... and help is always available to those who are willing to seek it! #dumbledore lol ❤

4.  "Let it go; just let it be.  Why don't you be you, and I'll be me!?"  
I've grown a lot in having grace for myself and others... in realizing we're truly all on different paths with unique strengths and weaknesses, and it's not a freaking competition.  God sees and cares about each of us, and we can feel confident about who we are and where we are in life as we enjoy and celebrate others where they are without feeling threatened or insecure.  (I so want all singles to understand this concept!)

5.  To hold all life "plans" loosely.  God likes to remix our lives.  Things don't always go according to our plans, and the journey is rarely as straight and easy as we want it to be.  There are unexpected turns and storms, as well as surprising blessings along the way!  Learning to have strong hope for things without putting my identity or ultimate hope in them has been essential for me - (see #10).

6.  That part of my calling/purpose is to comfort women who are grieving.  Over and over, I've found myself paired up with women during their hardest seasons of grief and loss (particularly grieving mothers), and I'm certain God's hand is in that.  Writing letters, remembering anniversaries, having deep and tear-filled conversations, bringing meals, etc. feels natural and sacred and significant to me, and I'm thankful any time God uses me to bring hope in a dark moment or offer strength and encouragement to someone feeling broken.

7.  "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think.  It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."  Push back against the lie that you're alone or that no one understands you.  Our relationships account for 70% of our personal happiness, and I've made some unexpected friendships and deepened some family relationships that I'm very grateful for.  When you look for common ground with people, you are extremely likely to find it!

8.  Don't undervalue your God-given gifts and strengths, whatever they may be.  Personally, I'm still learning to embrace my creative talent and my knack for encouraging/connecting with those who feel broken.  I was pretty slow to learn that you don't have to be in full-time ministry to live a life that has great value in the kingdom of God!  #loveGod #loveyourneighbor #serveothers

9.  It's not healthy to numb, hide, and suppress negative emotions... FEEL your feelings (click here) and then move past them.  You don't have to fake a smile and pretend all is well when you're heartbroken or angry.  Your feelings are valid, and God is always there for you, and other people will be there for you if and when you let them in.  Acknowledge it and feel it so you can move forward.  You've got this! ❤

10.  Embrace the partial.  That was a lesson from Eldredge's Hope in the Coming Kingdom CDs, and it stuck with me.  Everything we experience on earth is partial and incomplete, not intended to fully satisfy us or last forever.  Learning to embrace that concept has really taken a lot of pressure off me in trying to make everything perfect here and now... our lives won't ever be perfect or feel complete until we arrive in heaven - no relationship or achievement will do that for us.  But life here in "the partial" has it's moments of beauty and clarity and awesomeness, doesn't it?  And we can embrace them without clingy desperation while we hold on to our Kingdom hope that stands firm and secure!

*Bonus lesson, ending this on a lighter note:  Stay young at heart... it's good to take breaks from adulting and dive into the cheesy things that made you happy as a child, whether that be Disney+, game nights, T-Swift songs, playing outside, bubble baths, naps, snacks, or hanging out with awesome kids who help you take life less seriously!  Right now, for me, it's binge-watching the original Full House, one of the delightfully cheesy shows that defined my childhood... it's like comfort food for the '90s-child soul! =)
"Our motto is and ever was:  Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!" lol

Definitely laughed out loud when this scene came on... (also laughing that they spelled it Jung instead of young - so odd.)

This one had me laughing, too, even though Joey's not typically one of my favorites.

"Get completely outta here!" lol

Okay, that's all I've got today.  Thanks for being here! =)

Top 10 Vacation Memories

Happy Saturday, friends and fam!  I slept in and now I'm lounging in my PJs, eating a leftover brownie, and blogging... so the day's off to a good start. ;-)

I've had some awesome vacations with friends and family over the past ten years... including two NYC trips, four Big Cedar weekends, and five trips to Vegas! lol  This post = counting down the Top 10 Vacation Memories through the past decade!  (Not the vacations as a whole, but very specific memories that stand out to me.  A pretty hard list to narrow down, as it's often the little moments that I end up treasuring more than the epic stuff.)

10.  Crowding into a random tiny crevice with friends to stay dry during the rain at Harry Potter World, Florida trip 2015!  Rainy day memories often stand out to me, and I remember laughing and talking and me wanting us all to put on ponchos and go twirl in the rain, but I was strongly voted down. lol  *Honorable mention goes to watching the fireworks show at Magic Kingdom and the many conversations that followed that magical event! lol

9.  Being thrilled to sit down after a long day of non-stop walking, laughing to myself at all the silliness of the antelope arm bands and lion headbands, etc. during the Circle of Life opening sequence of Lion King on Broadway during our 2010 NYC trip... then looking over to laugh along with Chet and Malori, and seeing them both genuinely tearing up with awe and wonder! LOL

8.  Getting the same awesome table on the patio two days in a row during my 2016 Vegas trip with Sarah Elizabeth... and both getting to sample and rave about four different things on their breakfast menu whilst drinking mimosas and listening to street musicians and watching the Bellagio fountains begin across the street! =)  A very perfect start to our Vegas days!

7.  Having tasty home-cooked "family meals" (daily breakfasts and dinners) at the fish table in our cozy cabin at Big Cedar 2017!  With the right group, that feels super fun and special and cute.  ...And yes, I made them pose for a prayer pic after our real prayer - that's why everyone but Kyle is laughing. lol  Also, I love that Chet's drink is his gallon water jug! lol

6.  "My eyes are burning!"  Of all the super-fun things we did and saw in Vegas this year, what still cracks me up looking back is the memory of Sarah's peppermint oil spilling in their bag with Steve's beanie hat... and us noticing because of Steve's eyes burning and the strong smell of peppermint hitting us in our Uber ride from the airport.  I sadly failed to get a pic of the beanie hat, but I have a clear mental picture of Steve with his bloodshot eyes saying, "Smell this!" while we were at Walmart that night, and it was clearly soaked in pepperminty goodness. lol

5.  In our VCGO trip to Vegas in 2010, the night of the One Republic concert at the Mandalay Bay Beach stands out as an awesome, fun memory with fantastic music, perfect weather and atmosphere, and a great talk with my favorite friends, followed by washing the sand off our feet before heading back to the Bellagio for a midnight fountain show!  *Honorable mention goes to the Forbidden Broadway Sundae Challenge, JEM's Glamour Shots quote, and the Bellagio Pool Cafe breakfast!  So many fun memories that trip! =)

4.  A random fun memory that stands out from Vegas 2011, a really awesome trip with family and family friends and my best friend at the time, is dancing with Andrew (Rick's son) to Mambo Number 5 during Bill and Jill's wedding reception at the top of the Stratosphere Hotel.  He was an entertaining hot mess cracking everyone up with his dance moves that night, so I was surprised and a little nervous when he asked me to dance... but it was fun times, and I know he did several solo moves in a circle going around me. lolol

3.  At our Big Cedar cabin in 2016, in the midst of a fun, cozy game night playing Nertz and watching Chuck, Sarah noticed the pizza box smoking (Chet had accidentally turned on the stove)... and she ran over to save the pizza (and us from a random fire).  The pic on the right = her being annoyed that no one else had jumped in to help. LOL  *Honorable mention goes to singing Amazing Grace acapella in the pretty chapel when it was just our group in there. ❤

2.  This was already mentioned this in the Birthdays post, but this video and the group hug that followed was one of my favorite moments from our "Daddy's Family" 2014 Vegas trip.  (The original plan was to watch the water show outside at midnight, but thanks to me randomly getting emotional over past memories, we decided to go back up to the girls' hotel room and watch from our fountain-view window!)  For whatever reason, they played the midnight song about three minutes early that night, so after watching the water show to Whitney's Star-Spangled Banner, my friends did a countdown to midnight to ring in my 30th birthday!


1.  I've run out of room doing this backwards, but if I'm being honest, the top 3 or 4 memories would all go to the Niagara Falls and NYC trip of 2017!!  So many fantastic memories... including (*Honorable Mention:) ziplining over the falls with Dad and Bill, seeing them from a helicopter with Bill and Jill, watching the fireworks with everyone from the hotel room, awesome meals at Junior's, and the tour with Tom that forever changed how I view NYC!  Since I'm forced to narrow it to one, I'm going with standing right up close to Niagara Falls -- seeing and hearing the epic force of the water right in front of you -- and feeling the awe and wonder and connection to our God, who is powerful and awesome and personal and present!! ❤

I'm so thankful for all the fun trips with people I love over the past ten years, and already looking forward to three new vacations in the year ahead!! =)

Top 10 Surprises

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, both good and bad.  Today, I'm thinking through the Top 10+ Surprises from the past decade... some fun, some sad, but all unexpected!  (With links to several other posts with more details.)

*Pics chosen purely for the surprised expressions. =)

2010 -- In a random session at a continuing ed seminar for court reporters, Jane Boucher spoke about the four personality styles, and it really clicked with me.  I've studied and learned a lot more since then, but that session was where it started, and it was unexpectedly life-changing, forever altering the way I view relationship dynamics! ❤


2011 --  On the drive back from Bill and Jill's 11-11-11 Vegas wedding, Mom and Dad had a serious car wreck, and God miraculously protected them!  I vividly remember getting that phone call from Rachael, and it was definitely a surprise.  (*Finding out Rach was pregnant with Jace was a happier surprise from that year!)

2012 -- That February, deciding to return to school at SNU Tulsa to complete my Bachelors in Psychology was an unexpected turn in my late 20s.  My counseling plan has changed now, but I'm very thankful for that whole experience and the great people I met through it (and to have a backup plan if digital recorders ever take over my current career path)!

2013 -- This year held three major surprises, all of them sharply painful:  Learning that sweet baby Anthony passed away only days after celebrating his first birthday.  Meeting with a psychiatrist for the first time and being diagnosed with clinical depression.  And the heartbreaking loss of my closest friendship, which I once adamantly believed nothing but death would ever change.  Survival mode was in full force, and the birth of the sweetest Mini Miss K was unspeakably important and well-timed by God that August!!


2014 -- This was a rebuilding year and held a lot of good things, learning Beth's Identity declaration and getting to see John and Stasi Eldredge at the Captivating retreat included.  But the most bizarre and unexpected event of 2014 was definitely the near-exorcism that took place when I was seeking help and counsel from a theologically corrupt, cult-like, crazy prayer ministry!  I can see now how God used that, how it caused the fierce inner strength and knowledge of God in me to rise up in a year when I was feeling extra vulnerable and weak.  Still one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced, and I've dealt with a few church crazies.


2015 -- Really didn't mean for this to be a depressing post, but the things that tend to stand out as most surprising are often sad or upsetting.  This was a fun year with the Florida trip and successful WW weight loss and building a close friendship with Sarah, but it was also the year that my alma mater unexpectedly (and without valid cause or explanation) rejected me from joining their expensive Master's program. Still makes no sense at all to me, but I took it as God closing that door with some force.  Thank goodness Sarah's monkey bread was there to comfort me! lolol


2016 --  Finally, a more fun surprise! lol  In January, Sarah and I were given free tickets to see Celine in Vegas which was awesome and such a fun memory!!  ...Rach's awesome creative talents were a surprise to all of us (including her), as she discovered that skill and passion in adulthood!  Also in January, per my advice, Rach hosted a Facebook contest for a wreath giveaway, and it was more successful than either of us imagined! =)


2017 -- Standing in awe of the beauty of Niagara Falls was fantastic, but not surprising - I knew I would love it!  The tour with Tom that helped me finally learn to love and appreciate NYC was a wonderful surprise!  =)  Finding out Karli was pregnant was a really fun surprise!!  (*And honorable mention goes to the complete idiots who planted live pipe bombs in our courthouse parking lot!)


2018 -- My favorite surprise from this year was surprising Grandad and Babah with the DeBusk visit!  (Also unexpected was the sudden end of Flipagram and deletion of most of my videos, a tragedy of epic proportions. lol)

2019 -- In a year that included Grandad's stroke and eventual death, the biggest surprise happened over the summer... a family member suffered a massive betrayal by two of the people closest to her, and we are still in the midst of the dramatic and devastating ripple effect on the entire family, especially the four kids I love most in all the world.  I won't post details here publicly, but prayers are appreciated all around!  A happier surprise from this year would be the preshface Kyndal Faith getting to be in CHA's Homecoming ceremony! ❤

That's all I've got for now.  I'm thankful God is in control and has a plan through all of the above, and right now today, and through all the unexpected highs and lows to come in the future!!