Thankful Thursday (95)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  ~Philippians 4:6

Today, I am thankful for:

1.  Good times with friends at the "Last Farmhouse Shenanigans" event this weekend!  There was Catchphrase, Pitch Perfect, entertaining quotes (saving those for a future post), super-cute babies, chips and queso, strawberries and dip, chocolate lasagna, and reminiscing about other Farmhouse events.  I'm thankful for the fun we've had there and praying for good things ahead as the Wilson fam moves later this month! =)

2.  The fun memories of friendship with Jenny Womble!  Her birthday was this week, and that inspired me to make an old-school photo collage. =)

3.  Getting something in the mail that brightens my day. lol  #chettles #brighterthanthesun

4.  Learning that JEM will be starting an awesome new job soon (one that may involve a Vegas trip for job training this summer)!! #congratsjeffrey #Godstiming #danceitup

5.  This reminder to let myself feel things rather than trying to numb or escape bad feelings:

6.  How lovely and happy this room is (where I sleep at Mom and Dad's). =)

7.  The lighthearted playfulness of kids! =) Jaceman was cracking me up pretending to be a gorilla and showing me how he can stand up in the tiny crevice at the bottom edge of the bed (note his feet on the floor - lol), and Kyndal Faith was using Facetime to make funny faces and show me her loose tooth! lol

That's all for now!!  We're finishing up a boring civil jury trial today, and I'm hoping to be productive and get some work done while we're waiting on a verdict.  Hope you have a lovely day and weekend ahead! ❤

A Quotable Update

Today's post = a general update that covers the month of May + a few new Quotable quotes! =)

Early in the month, we celebrated Michael's birthday with dinner at McAlister's followed by bowling at Andy B's! =)

Fun fact:  Laura and I got our tickets this morning!  We were both in the virtual waiting room, and her turn was first, so she got tickets for us on August 10th, then when my turn arrived, I decided to get two cheaper balcony tickets for the weekend after that just because it seemed like a waste not to! lol  So my summer will include two showings of Hamilton - get excited!! Yes, please! =)

The kids made handmade cards for Mom and Babah on Mother's Day, and the Miss K wished me a "Happy Sister's Day" because she knows I'm Rach's sister. lol

Babah had shoulder surgery (this = chatting with her friend, Virginia, before surgery).  It went well, and she is recovering with rehab help at Bradford Village, so we're all happy that she's able to be there with Grandad!

Sarah hosted dinner for the Wilson fam and the Creek County girls (me, Laura, and Tiffany).  The Wilsons left early to put Tate to bed, then we played a few fun rounds of Fibbage! =)

I randomly reorganized my bookshelves by color... I like it! =)

I got to attend Blake's Graduation from OU College of Medicine... now officially Dr. O'Brien!! 

JB and I stopped for mimosas and the bread basket at Scratch Kitchen that morning.  I would definitely go back there!  I was a fan of everything I tried, including the mimosa because it was 90% orange juice! lol

I am only fractionally aware of the dedication and inner strength and resilience it took for him to get here - not just through medical school, but forming solid friendships and becoming more confident and ready to move to start a residency program.  I'm very impressed and inspired by that!

There were several swim days at "Mamaw's pool!"  Outdoor furniture coming soon, but they're fine with this option right now. =)

We went to JoBug's pool on Memorial Day, and I sat outside and chatted with Mom, JB, and Rach instead of swimming because I knew the water was cold.  Here's me and Lucy Lu! =)

I met Elizabeth for a late birthday lunch that day at Zoe's! =)

My flowers are looking pretty right now, thanks to the constant downpour of rain we've been getting!

Now for the quotables:

Random Doctor who popped into Babah's hospital room after surgery:
"Well, I'm in the wrong room -- my patient must’ve been moved.  I hope you get better!  I don't know what you’re in here for, but there’s two ways I know people are gonna get better:  one, they’re feisty... and I can see in your eyes you’re kinda feisty! And two, they have people in their lives who give a damn about them, and you've got lots of people here with you!

"Man, this tornado warning is going on forever!" -Me, slightly annoyed that my movie was being interrupted #oklahomalife
"Ugh, I know!  It makes me really wish to turn into a gorilla and kill it!!" -Jaceman with all the randomness lol
Later when it got closer to MWC...
Jace:  "Man, my legs are literally shaking!!"
Mom:  "Don't be scared, bud.  If we were in danger, we'd go get in that safe room right now!"
Jace, calming right down:  "Hmm, I would need a snack!  And a drink!!"

Kyndal:  "Do you have any aces?" (playing Go Fish)
Me:  "Nope!"
Kyndal:  "Do you know what aces are!??"
(Later that same game when I asked for something she had 3 of...)
Kyndal:  "Come on, bro!!" lol

Doctor:  "I'm guessing you had a fall?"
Babah:  "Yeah, I was just walking along, singin' a song!"

Later...
Doctor:  "We also like to do a block of anesthesia to keep the shoulder area numb for 12-24 hours following the surgery."
Babah:  "Oh, bless you, my son!!" lol

Babah (as the nurses were walking out):  "I done ticked 'em off!"
Virginia: "Don’t tick them off till after the surgery! You gave Kenneth that advice, and now you gotta take it!"
Babah: "I know.  I just asked for Lawanda (the only nurse who could get her IV going), but when they’re talking real low, you know they’re talking about you!"

Mom: "Are you cold, Babah? Do you need some Carmex??"
Babah: (totally ignoring that) "I’m not ever doing another good deed in my life!"
...Me and mom laughing at the randomness of that announcement - lol
Mom: "You'd better do a couple more!"
Babah: "No, no, I’ve done my last one! ...All I was trying to do was take Grandad some whipped cream!"  (reminiscing about when she fell and broke her shoulder in 3 places)

Jace:  "Do you wish you were home?"
Grandad:  "Absolutely!"
Jace (really into Aladdin lately):  "If I was a genie, I’d zap you back home!" **zapping sound effect** lol

Later...
Babah (getting on to J):  "And the only reason you need is 'cause I said so!"
Jace:  "And that’s why I wish to zap you to Vega (a town in Texas she's not a fan of)!" lolol

(Adding Claire's time zone to my phone so I can tell J what time it is for her...)
Me:  "Do you know what city she lives in!?"
Jace:  "Italy... Du-uh!!" lol

**Backstory**  Kyndal Faith likes to fill several buckets with water then pour them all out as she plays in the shower.  The toilet in the silver bathroom at Mom and Dad's overflowed one night, like water all over the floor overflowed.  There's some sort of weird plumbing issue that comes up every so often and everything is linked... Kyndal was taking a shower, and that was making all the toilets rise, so she had to get out quickly.  In the process of sweeping the overflowing water out to the back patio to keep it off the wood floor, Dad swept brown toilet water onto my flip-flop-wearing bare feet, which I couldn't wash off quickly because we needed to not run the water.  I was super disgusted, as you might imagine.  But we were all grabbing towels and trying to clean up the mess and prevent and further issues.   Mom and I were explaining that whole story to Rach later while Josh and Dad were outside working to fix the problem, then Kyndal chimed in sounding more frustrated and serious than anyone saying, "Aaand I didn’t even get to pour this bucket out!!" lol
#cuteness #lifeishard

Rach to Rib Crib waitress:  "Her corn on the cob just doesn't taste right."
Kyndal, with so much certainty:  "It’s because it doesn’t have enough butter on!!" lol
Later that same meal
Rach:  "We'll do ice cream with whipped cream instead of Oreos with the kids meals."  
Kyndal, clarifying with some hand action + attitude:  "Wif.  Whipped. Cweam!!"  (They forgot that topping last time they were there - lolol she was cracking me up that day!)

Josh told a story about a guy not taking responsibility for bumping his car...
Me:  "Something similar happened to my judge... a lady hit his car in the parking lot and then wouldn't acknowledge it even when he showed her pictures..."
Jace:  "He shoulda said, 'Tell it to the Judge!!'" lol  
Not sure where he's heard that, but it was pretty funny!

"I told Gina about your dogs, and she was heartbroken for you.  I told her, 'Shoot, if I was single, there’s no way I’d be having two dogs tying me down... I’d be out partying!'  I said, 'Listen, you know, when you’re drunk and coming home at 2am, you can’t be worried about managing a bunch of dogs!'"  ~Dentist Neil making me laugh whilst filling a cavity

Dentist Neil:  "The only thing better than having a pool is having a friend with a pool... which I found out because all my wife’s friends are always at our pool!!" lolol

(Discussing Chet's move:)
Neil:  "Didn’t he move over there kinda by Gary Smith?"
Me:  "Well, Gary actually moved too.  I don’t know exactly where his new house is because we haven’t really been over there since it doesn’t have a pool."
Neil with all the false indignation:  "SEE, this is how you non-pool people treat the pool people, and I, for one, do not appreciate it!"

Random serious quotes I like lately:
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." ~K. Morris

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment and inexplicable grief. Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what other people think just isn’t worth it. Yes, there can be authenticity growing pains for the people around us, but in the end, being true to ourselves is the best gift we can give the people we love.”

- Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

That's all for now.  It was May when I started this post. lol  Happy June, gang!!

Day 30 ~ Goals

Today = My goals for the next 30 days.

1. Get Hamilton tickets tomorrow (on sale at 10am)!
2. Sign up for a CR test and keep practicing
3. Stick with my Bible and workout schedule
4. Swim at my neighborhood pool
5. Complete 45 transcripts by June 21st

Throwback to September 2014 when Mom and I were there late on a weekend doing ALL the plea transcripts!

I'm running late with this, so I had to write it quickly... I took an epsom salt bath then was laying in bed listening to my HP book when I realized I hadn't written my blog for today... and after 29 days of being on track with the blog challenge, I'm not gonna mess it up on this last day!! =)

It's been fun, but I'm glad to be done!  I'll throw in a May update + Quotables tomorrow, then I may actually go a couple days without adding a post. lol

Day 29 ~ Guests

Today = List ten people, dead or alive, you would invite to dinner.  Include the dinner menu.

I'm writing this post fast, so I may not be making my very TOP choices, but these are all people I would gladly invite!  I rarely enjoy mixing with several new people at once, especially if they don't at least all know each other first.  It pretty well guarantees that the conversation will stay surface level, and that's not what I'm about. #introvertlife  So to make this sound fun for me, I would have ten separate one-on-one dinners! lol  I would invite them to a restaurant first (Italian or Mexican, their choice)... but if I had to cook for some very random reason, I would make lasagna, salad, cheesy garlic bread, strawberries, and chocolate sheet cake! =)

1. Jesus (obvi) -- I would let Him do almost all the talking here, especially since I'm guessing He would not choose to fill me in on certain questions I have about my own future (He's a God of process), but it would be really cool to see Him in person and listen to whatever He wanted to say before I get to heaven!
2. My Grandma Doris -- I never got to meet her here, so that would be great to hug her and get to know her a bit!
3. Paul (the apostle) -- My favorite human Bible author, and he has a personality I know I would click with easily!
4. John (the disciple) -- My favorite of the disciples and second-favorite Bible author
5. James (brother of Jesus) -- I'd love to know more about what daily earthly life was like growing up with Jesus (These top five will absolutely happen one day, so that's pretty cool!)
6. J.K. Rowling -- I want to know more about her life journey and to thank her for her brilliant books!
7. John Eldredge (and I'd ask him to bring Stasi along) -- Same concept as JK, only I would do a bit more talking with John because he is a trained counselor and near the top of the list of people I would trust and be willing to share with and have pray with/for me
8. Beth Moore -- I would love to hang out with her, and I would thank her for the studies that have brought me closer to Christ and encourage her to stay strong in the midst of all the Christians who've decided to shun her for calling out sexual sin and poor leadership in the church (As she put it, we have "shepherds guarding other shepherds rather than guarding the sheep!") #truth  Get it, Beth!!
9. Kate Middleton -- She's my favorite royal, but I know very little about her actual life or personality, so it'd be fun to talk and learn more  =)
10. Oprah Winfrey -- She's just fun and good times, and it would take us about five minutes to delve into deeper topics, and I would really love to talk to her about her beliefs about Jesus, because she seems very close but slightly off, and she has such a massive circle of influence!

Day 28 ~ Calm

Today = Something that you miss

Right now, I miss calm summer weather... more storms are supposed to be rolling in tonight and tomorrow, and I'm so over it!!  I miss not having to pay much attention to the weather or worry about what it's going to do next.  It's been an exhausting past couple weeks here in Oklahoma, far more tragic for some than others.  Lots of tornado warnings and sirens, actual tornadoes and the crazy damage they leave in their wake, downed power lines and power outages, hiding in closets and bathtubs and storm shelters, crazy thunderstorms that jolt you awake, shockingly loud emergency flash flood warnings, and very serious flooding and erosion and road closures!

This = last Monday hanging out in my closet with my phone and flashlight and pills, watching FB Live weather updates with Travis Meyer!

 ...and texting with Laura and Tiffany, who were hanging out with the cats in Susie's underground shelter!

I was in MWC this Memorial Day weekend, and there was a tornado warning in MWC that we were all watching closely before going to bed.  Then there was an actual tornado around 1:00 AM that went through Sapulpa (very near the courthouse where I work), Jenks (very near my home), Tulsa's Woodland Hills Mall area (where friends live) and Broken Arrow (where more friends live).  The power at my house was out for over 24 hours, and part of my fence was taken down by the strong winds (a neighbor has already fixed it).  I am super thankful for God's protection in this crazy season, but also praying we get a break from it all! I'm hoping June will come in with fresh, happy, calm summer days!!  And that I can focus on happy text notifications instead of things like this...

Day 27 ~ Problem

Today = A problem you have or have had in the past

My answer hits both categories.

I've been reading up on the Enneagram.  I'm either a Type 9 with a strong Type 1 "wing," or the reverse of that.  (Nines are adaptable and empathetic with a strong desire to keep the peace, merge with others, and avoid conflict.  Ones are dedicated and self-critical perfectionists with a desire to improve the world and to avoid fault and blame.)  
*The combination of these two types = people who have a very hard time defining and completing big personal goals... The Nine side hides and struggles with feeling unspecial/unworthy of pursuing big things, and the One side critiques and never thinks anything is quite good enough or quite finished.  Hence, why my book has yet to be completed or see the light of day.

Both of these types fall into the "Anger Triad," along with the Type 8 personality (Malori, Holly, Joyce, etc.).  

• Eights externalize and vent their anger, both on behalf of themselves and others.  
• Ones will express certain anger if it feels "righteous and justified," mostly on behalf of others, but they internalize most anger they feel on their own behalf in a way that eventually turns into "smoldering resentment."  Yikes - yep.
• Nines numb out, stuff down, and try to forget about and escape their anger to avoid conflict or unpleasant feelings.  (Likely why the "You do care" line from HP hits me so deeply.)

The book said Nines don't want to think of themselves as angry people, but they feel a lot of inner anger about being repeatedly overlooked, ignored, and treated as less important than others.  They learn to fade into the background and attempt to sleepwalk through life without letting anything bother them too much.  They often fail to speak up for themselves or their beliefs in the effort to avoid conflict and drama, then they feel unseen and unheard by those closest to them, and they feel angry about that.  But they know they cannot express that anger or fully be themselves without messing up the external sense of peace around them, so they try to put a positive spin on everything and/or numb out with any number of comforts (movies and chocolate and more).  In the end, they basically sacrifice inner heart-level peace for the outer appearance of peace...

Oh. Deeeear. Lord.  Hearing that part of the book forced me to acknowledge my anger and feel it more than I have in a while, and I was caught off guard by how much I could feel rising up to the surface - I already have high blood pressure, and I felt almost shaky as I was thinking back about this. And it's not the big stuff like friendship betrayals (that's where I eventually felt justified enough to express my anger, then end up regretting it) -- but it's the myriad of little petty things that go unaddressed, the many ways I have made myself invisible to keep the peace, and all the ways people have taken advantage because they know I am unlikely to risk conflict or initiate a hard conversation.  It is and always has been a major struggle for me to figure out and pursue what I really want because the feelings of other people factor in SO heavily and seem more important to me than my own feelings.  About MY OWN LIFE.  Which is such a crazy pattern, but a hard one to break.

So my problem = figuring out how to process my feelings in a healthy way and feel seen/heard/valued/known after years of unresolved brewing anger and making myself small and feeling overlooked.  Barf.  It's not a fun problem, but it's not unsolvable either.  Coming out of denial and acknowledging the problem is the first step.  

At the beginning of this book, the author said that personality assessments are not meant to "put you in a box."  Rather, they are made to "show you the box you are already in" and give you the keys to get out of it.  I really loved that, and I'm reminding myself of it now.  This is not anyone else's fault; it is my responsibility and mine alone.  I don't want to be a resentful person or a numbed-out person, so I have to make some changes to become a healthier person.  Finding true peace and freedom will require a lot more work than settling for artificial peace and repressed anger, but it will be far more pleasing to God!  ...And it might lower my blood pressure too. lol 

Mmmm, and that's all I've got for today.

Day 26 ~ Money

Today = If you had $1,000,000 to spend, how would you spend it?

You know you're indecisive when you get can't figure out the best way to spend your fictional money. lol  Also, since they say I have it "to spend," I'm just assuming that taxes have already been paid on this. =)

*This gif cracks me up!  Dave Chappelle is a funny one. =)

Going with my first thoughts and breaking it into sections...

1. Tithe the first 100,000.
2. Pay off my mortgage and fix up my house (wood floors and a few other improvements) with the second 100,000!  (Then have a party to celebrate being debt-free!)
3. Pay off Tiffany and Sarah's student loans, then donate whatever was left of the third 100,000 to Ransomed Heart and/or a friend who needed it in that season.
4. Adopt twin newborn babies with the fourth 100,000, then hire an attorney to help me set up a Will and a Trust that leaves my money to them when I die.
5. Spend $50,000 to get my Masters + either my MBA or a PhD in Counseling, then set aside 25k each to T&C to go specifically toward a college education (or trade school). (J&K are already covered).
6. The next $400,000 = Hire someone to clean my house twice a month while being a stay-at-home Mom and full-time student through the first 3-4 years of my kids' lives... then open a private practice Christian counseling service.
7. I would put my lovely twins into a good Preschool then a K-12 Christian school, (the tuition would add right up, but I would be working and have no mortgage, so whatevs - worth it!)  I would keep working and slowly expand to hire other counselors to work with/under me.  
8. Stay at my house OR sell it and move to a similar-priced new home in Broken Arrow (in which case, I'd have opened my practice there, too).  Always live in a fully paid-off house.
9. Use my work income for routine expenses and savings and investments and such.  
10. Use the last $100,000 of the happy gift or winnings purely as a lil' vacation fund for fun family cruises and trips! =)

Hmm, that was a fun little fictional game that doesn't take into account my personality's need for peace and ability to change my mind 20 times about some of the more personal life decisions. lol  While I don't crave marriage the way I once did, I also don't feel much freedom to take big risks without the safety net of a second income (or a million-dollar bonus fund), and sometimes that makes it hard to figure out what I really want and whether it's worth pursuing.  Why must everything be sooo costly!??  But in the end, my ultimate hope isn't in anything on this list, so that's happy news!