I'm flying through these posts so that I can focus on fun Christmasy things the rest of December... I'm almost sure there are some movies I'm forgetting, but these ten stand out in my mind at the moment as my favorite movies released during the past decade:
10. The Social Network -- "You better lawyer up..." is a moment that'll always make me smile! This one has grown on me the more I've watched it - so much snark and sarcasm and fast-paced dialogue - it's definitely on the favorites list for me.
9. The Help -- I can't get enough of stories that highlight the power of courage and friendship, and this movie does both with great characters and an important story!
8. About Time -- The lead guy in this one is so delightfully precious, and I love the ending monologue. It was sweet and quirky and had several funny moments... but for personal reasons, I have never cried so hard in the theater during a movie, so this one has always stood out to me.
7. Hunger Games -- (Humming the mockingjay tune to myself.) Great books and a good movie. The first one is still my favorite of the series! The salute scenes always get me.
6. Bohemian Rhapsody -- This makes my list mostly for the soundtrack, but the acting was on point, as well!
5. The King's Speech -- Colin Firth at his best. A simple but powerful story that focuses on the beauty of friendship and courage.
4. Cinderella (live version) -- "Have courage, and be kind!" Love Lily James, loved the dress, and loved this movie.
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 -- The movie that inspired me to finally read the books. So brilliant - can't say enough good things about this or J.K. Rowling!
2. Avengers Endgame -- "It's not about how much we've lost; it's about how much we have left!" Love all the Avengers movies, and this was an amazing conclusion to that entire saga. The circles scene will always make me tear up! We have more outside support and inner power than we realize.
1. The Greatest Showman -- seven times in theaters was almost a record for me... almost. ;-) Such a fantastic, heartwarming, well-done musical!! The first time I saw it (opening night) was truly a transcendent theater experience where I kept waiting for a moment of disappointing letdown but it never came... nothing but effervescent joy from start to finish!
*Honorable Mention:Hidden Figures, Wonder Woman, Toy Story 3, and Star Wars: The Last Jedi
I've read several good books over the past ten years... and I've listened to even more! I'm ever so thankful for the discovery of Audible and Hoopla (the free library app that includes audiobooks).
Here are a few books I really enjoyed (click book name for link): 10. Quiet by Susan Cain -- helped me to value and better understand my introvert self =) 9. Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist -- relatable stories that encouraged me through a difficult time 8. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott -- awesome, blunt, and witty writing advice 7. Remember God by Annie F. Downs... relatable Christian single stories that focus on God's faithfulness 6. Presence by Amy Cuddy -- learning how our body language affects our confidence and the way others perceive us, and how to change that for the better 5. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis -- very short and sobering, but so many good thoughts there 4. Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend -- something I wish I had read sooner 3. Little Women by Louis May Alcott -- beautiful characters and stories; read it several times now 2. Friendships Don't Just Happen by Shasta Nelson -- clear relational advice for building a healthy circle of friends 1. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling -- the link is about Order of the Phoenix, but I'm not even trying to narrow it down to one book here - I've listened to the whole series at least 3 times, and I love it!
1. Waking the Deadby John Eldredge -- a redemptive book that was especially meaningful to me Honorable Mention:Scary Close by Donald Miller, All Things New by John Eldredge, Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist, The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigle, and Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst!
"Today is a gift. And if we have tomorrow, tomorrow will be a gift. We held hands and thanked God for the darkness, and for the way the darkness had become light... and for the very complicated joys that come from loss, from failure, from reaching the bottom and pushing back up to the light! Thank You, God, for the things You heal, the things You redeem, the things You refuse to leave just as they have been for what seems like forever." ❤
This post will be short and sweet. I've been blogging since 2008, and below are links to ten of my favorite posts written over the past decade. (*I'm going with deeper, more thoughtful posts for this list since I'm covering favorite vacations and fun memories in another Decade in Review post.) ❤ 1. You Do Care 2. Family Friendships 3. To Weep With Those Who Weep 4. The Tentmaker 5. Lewis on Grief 6. Altered Perception 7. Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes 8. You Do Not Have to Worry 9. A Bit of Advice... 10. My First 30 Years in Pictures In other news, Sarah Bliss (an old friend from the Josh and Co. days of yesteryear) took the initiative to reach out to me this week with a really kind email, and reconnecting with her has made me happy! I feel deeply thankful for the way time has softened and grown and changed us both. And I'm abundantly grateful for the reminder that broken people and broken friendships can be mended and healed with a bit of effort and kindness! ❤ So on that hope-filled note, here's a Photo Friday collage of 2005-2008 Lindsey and Sarah. =)
To anyone reading this, thanks for being one of my few but faithful readers. Hope you're having a good Friday the 13th! =)
I so love the way that song depicts grief (and having no choice but to keep moving forward in the midst of it). Our losses are deeply personal and no one can fully understand another's experiences or emotions, nor should we compare pain or seek to minimize someone else's suffering because it differs from ours, or vice versa. Your pain is valid and it matters to God, and so does mine. ❤ And our suffering (when we are in Christ) is never without purpose.
I'm now halfway through my "Decade in Review" posts, and the remaining five posts will be more joyful and lighthearted (and probably shorter). But today, I am thinking through some of the painful losses I've experienced over the past decade, listed in random order... 10. March 5, 2019. Grandad's stroke this summer, followed by the gradual decline of his physical strength and joy and will to live. Ambiguous losses like this are often more painful and emotionally complicated than losses that leave you with a clearly defined sense of closure. That season only lasted five months, but it was sad and terrible to witness, and we felt powerless to change the situation. It softened the blow of his death tremendously because we all knew he was ready to go, and it caused me to question things and broadened my perspective and increased my compassion for others in similar circumstances. 9. September 21, 2014. (I had to look that date up... when I sent the lengthy email to Battlecreek about the corrupt prayer ministry they endorse). What happened there and especially the way the church responded to it (or completely failed to respond or acknowledge my existence) drastically lowered my respect for those leaders and shifted my mindset as I look at other churches (and their treatment of men vs. women, people with lots of $$ and power vs. people with lots of love for Jesus, etc.) So this one is more vague, but I definitely lost something in that season... the deep sense of trust and the feeling of peace and safety and camaraderie I once felt whenever I stepped into church circles is gone, and I have yet to recover it. I am more aware of legitimate problems within the church than ever before, and I'm really not sure how to deal with that, particularly when female voices are often undervalued. My guard is up and my crazy-Christian radar is always on (and staying busy), and I hope that continues to soften a bit as time moves forward. I grew up feeling like the church was a wonderful safe-haven and refuge where my soul was always at peace, but I guess it's healthier to look to God for all of that anyway! 8. January 4, 2013. The day we learned the Diving Deeper South Lifegroup was ending. I helped get that group going in 2008, so it really meant a lot to me, and I felt it when it ended. As I put it back then: "I learned that the singles Lifegroup I've been a part of for years is now disbanding - something I'd been expecting with the growing number of couples, but the transition period is still a bit sad. It's hard that I will no longer see my close Christian friends every week, hard to be one of the few remaining singles for the second time, and hard knowing I have to find a new group and begin again." 7. March 1, 2013. The tragic and heartbreaking loss of baby Anthony. He was a fighter through his brief time on earth, and he was and still is deeply loved! 6. April 29, 2013. That was the day I met with a psychiatrist and was assigned to a therapist and began taking antidepressants... which meant the loss of my self-sufficient pride and my twisted spiritual guilt about seeking any help outside of prayer! (A really healthy loss, obviously, but it took some internal wrestling and it was difficult for me.) 5. October 16, 2016. Mark Richards passed away after battling cancer. He was one of a kind... such a fun person and a great friend to our family through the CHA years, and I miss him! (*A random and possibly inappropriate story, but I remember the day Rach texted me with that news I was at a Harry Potter movie marathon at Cinemark. In between the 6th and 7th movie, I started crying thinking about Mark and went to the bathroom to fix my makeup. A random woman who was also in the HP movies saw me crying and said, "Dumbledore!? That funeral scene always gets me, too!!" I didn't have the heart to explain the real story to her, but it did help lighten the moment.) 4. August 21, 2019. Grandad -- losing the strong, loving, gentle patriarch of Mom's side of the family is something we've just begun to really feel and process. I'm so thankful for the relationship I had with him and that he knew he was loved and nothing was left unsaid, but we will definitely feel his absence this Christmas Eve. 3. July 17, 2017. The world's best and cutest girlfranz, Sam-puffins and a Bellsy, leaving my house to go live with David. It was in their best interest (and mine with all the allergy issues), but I do miss their fluffity little playful diva selves greeting me and snuggling with me while I watched TV at night! I'm excited to see them soon and give them their comfy new dog beds. =) 2. ??. No specific date to put down since this is another very ambiguous loss, but through the past decade, I've had to gradually let go of (or drastically loosen my grip on) the lovely family dream I envisioned for myself. The marriage-and-family timeline I once had in mind has come and gone twice now, and in many ways, that was for the best. I'm not complaining or feeling any sense of desperation, but simply acknowledging that this was never my plan, and sometimes the sense of being un-chosen and missing out on the beauty of starting my own family with a good husband is painful and disheartening. (God may still have a remix in store that changes things in a way I can't yet imagine, but marriage looks unlikely. Single motherhood through adoption is a distinct and exciting possibility, but a more challenging path than I would have preferred if given the choice.) 1. August 26, 2013. The sudden, deliberate severing of my six-year best friendship is the most painful and confusing loss I have personally endured to date, this decade or any other. Grieving the loss of someone so close to you who is still alive is one of the most difficult things for any human being -- broken relationships are verrrry hard on our souls. Sometimes I also miss the part of me that I lost then. Looking back on the way things ended between us still makes me feel sad, but it no longer makes me doubt my own worth, so I am thankful for that progress!
Hmm, writing this post is a tall order! I've put some thought into the major lessons I've learned over the past ten years, and here's what I've got:
1. The importance of discernment and boundaries... to trust my intuition and listen to the Voice inside when it starts throwing up red flags (like when I realized the prayer ministry I signed up for was full-tilt crazy). Also, learning that when my safety or sanity feels threatened, it's okay to drop the niceties and say no or walk away!
2. Contrary to popular opinion, Christian values and conservative values are NOT always in alignment,and it's more important than ever to pay attention to people's character and to follow and emulate the ways of Christ (Col. 3:12)!
3. "Never ever ever give up." ~Michael Scott, quoting Winston Churchill ;-) For real, though, your life and your presence matters!! After losing touch with a startling number of people I was once close to, I began to doubt whether my presence really mattered to others, or whether my absence made any difference (a twisted lie from the enemy, but that arrow was sharp and painful.) I have learned over time to choose life and to seek help when things feel dark and meaningless.... that it's worth holding on and fighting through those painful times because there is always more light ahead of you and more people who love and need you, and God has more in store for your future! We are all more resilient than we tend to believe... and help is always available to those who are willing to seek it! #dumbledore lol ❤
4. "Let it go; just let it be. Why don't you be you, and I'll be me!?" I've grown a lot in having grace for myself and others... in realizing we're truly all on different paths with unique strengths and weaknesses, and it's not a freaking competition. God sees and cares about each of us, and we can feel confident about who we are and where we are in life as we enjoy and celebrate others where they are without feeling threatened or insecure. (I so want all singles to understand this concept!)
5. To hold all life "plans" loosely. God likes to remix our lives. Things don't always go according to our plans, and the journey is rarely as straight and easy as we want it to be. There are unexpected turns and storms, as well as surprising blessings along the way! Learning to have strong hope for things without putting my identity or ultimate hope in them has been essential for me - (see #10).
6. That part of my calling/purpose is to comfort women who are grieving. Over and over, I've found myself paired up with women during their hardest seasons of grief and loss (particularly grieving mothers), and I'm certain God's hand is in that. Writing letters, remembering anniversaries, having deep and tear-filled conversations, bringing meals, etc. feels natural and sacred and significant to me, and I'm thankful any time God uses me to bring hope in a dark moment or offer strength and encouragement to someone feeling broken.
7. "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world." Push back against the lie that you're alone or that no one understands you. Our relationships account for 70% of our personal happiness, and I've made some unexpected friendships and deepened some family relationships that I'm very grateful for. When you look for common ground with people, you are extremely likely to find it!
8.Don't undervalue your God-given gifts and strengths,whatever they may be. Personally, I'm still learning to embrace my creative talent and my knack for encouraging/connecting with those who feel broken. I was pretty slow to learn that you don't have to be in full-time ministry to live a life that has great value in the kingdom of God! #loveGod #loveyourneighbor #serveothers
9. It's not healthy to numb, hide, and suppress negative emotions... FEEL your feelings (click here)and then move past them. You don't have to fake a smile and pretend all is well when you're heartbroken or angry. Your feelings are valid, and God is always there for you, and other people will be there for you if and when you let them in. Acknowledge it and feel it so you can move forward. You've got this! ❤
10. Embrace the partial.That was a lesson from Eldredge's Hope in the Coming Kingdom CDs, and it stuck with me. Everything we experience on earth is partial and incomplete, not intended to fully satisfy us or last forever. Learning to embrace that concept has really taken a lot of pressure off me in trying to make everything perfect here and now... our lives won't ever be perfect or feel complete until we arrive in heaven - no relationship or achievement will do that for us. But life here in "the partial" has it's moments of beauty and clarity and awesomeness, doesn't it? And we can embrace them without clingy desperation while we hold on to our Kingdom hope that stands firm and secure!
*Bonus lesson, ending this on a lighter note: Stay young at heart... it's good to take breaks from adulting and dive into the cheesy things that made you happy as a child, whether that be Disney+, game nights, T-Swift songs, playing outside, bubble baths, naps, snacks, or hanging out with awesome kids who help you take life less seriously! Right now, for me, it's binge-watching the original Full House, one of the delightfully cheesy shows that defined my childhood... it's like comfort food for the '90s-child soul! =) "Our motto is and ever was: Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!!" lol
Definitely laughed out loud when this scene came on... (also laughing that they spelled it Jung instead of young - so odd.)
This one had me laughing, too, even though Joey's not typically one of my favorites.
"Get completely outta here!" lol
Okay, that's all I've got today. Thanks for being here! =)
This Friday night was the second annual Mockey Little Christmas party (emphasis on little)! lol Last year's event was a random movie and lunch day during December that JEM labeled "a Mockey Little Christmas." =) This year, I decided I liked that small group and getting to spend time with two of my favorite families... but then Kelly and Ellie got sick with RSV =( so it was just Jeffrey Edward and the Wilson fam and me! Fun times with awesome people!
After perusing Disney+, Chet chose The Emperor's New Groove (cute - that was the first time I'd seen it, but the guys both know it well and quote it often) and The Santa Clause with Tim Allen, which Jeff knew lots of quotes from too! We had Hideaway pizza and club salad, puppy chow, frosted brownies, and sweet tea... a feast of champions. lol
We had dinner and caught up on life a bit as we halfway watched the movies, then Karli worked on creating their family Christmas cards as the guys discussed their weights and workout plans, as per usual. lol Everyone looked through the new scrapbook and reminisced about fun memories. Tater-tot found lots of "toys" in my house, including admiring himself in the L mirror, giving out the presents Mom wrapped (so cute!), and checking out the Christmas ornaments, but only one was broken, and I'm calling that a big success! JEM taught Tate to put things on his head (hilarious!!), and the guys danced with Tate to "baby shark" and "baby monkey!" (When Tate was pointing at my phone and asking me for that video, I for sure thought he said, "Baby Mockey" and was very confused. lol)
Here's a happy slideshow, again to a JD McPherson song! =) And here's my first Apple Watch selfie (but definitely not my last now that I know how to do that)!!
I just got home from seeing the movie Dark Waters. It was reminiscent of Erin Brockovich, but with larger-scale corruption and a less entertaining, sassy protagonist. In short, it's a crazy-but-true story about a billion-dollar corporation that knowingly poisoned millions of people (a number that continues to expand) in order to keep manufacturing and producing their Teflon products.
It's a David and Goliath kind of victory where this unknown attorney takes on this massive company and refuses to stop fighting and let it go. They spend 99 percent of the movie showing you how terrible and dangerous these chemicals are and the numerous awful side effects and birth defects and serious diseases they can cause... then at the very end, they put up text that tells you this unregulated, water-repelling chemical that our bodies are not designed to break down (PFOA/C-8) is currently believed to be in the bloodstream of 99% of all living creatures, including humans.
Umm, awesome. So we'll all just get up and leave the theater now? I was inappropriately tempted to laugh when I read it. I was already thinking there was really no way to contain that type of toxic damage when it's gone on for decades and affected so many people and animals, but reading that sentence was still jarring and disturbing, and I don't know what to do with that information. It left me with a heavy, depressed feeling that nothing we consume is safe and we're all basically screwed and there's not much we can do about it. (#ecclesiastical)
(I know the point was to bring attention to a serious problem, and the movie was well done. The story also shows that it's good to keep fighting for what's right, even when the odds are against you and it takes longer than you ever thought and you feel overwhelmed... and that's all true.) But I had to recenter and remind myself on the drive home that no matter what happens in the physical world, there is also a spiritual world and a deeper reality and an eternal hope!
Now I'm shifting subjects a bit here, but it's all connected in my mind, and I'll try to pull my thoughts together in the end for anyone who's still reading... a friend and I were talking yesterday about how the rates of depression and suicide are always much higher during the holiday season. How our routine loneliness can feel magnified and the societal pressure to be happy sometimes has an adverse effect, especially after losing someone you love...
Granted, I am still very much in the camp of people who believe Christmas is "the most wonderful time of the year." I love seeing the twinkling lights and hearing the Christmas songs. I decorate early, and I have the word "JOY" prominently displayed in my home in multiple places.
However, I also feel a heightened awareness every Christmas season of the approaching possibility of loss... that the group of people in the holiday photos will change as time moves forward. And with that, I feel a deeper awareness of the sacred beauty and value of my family and friends and spending time together and making memories.
The nights are longer and the daylight is shorter during this time of year, and the metaphorical wind trying to pull me toward depression is undoubtedly stronger... but so is my determination to resist it. Like everyone else, I have to choose joy and kindness. Reality is painful and overwhelming sometimes, and I have to remind myself that God is strong and He is always with me and I can rest in Him.
I took this random selfie at Target the other day because I thought the cheesy mug was cute, but didn't care enough to actually buy it. I really like the metaphorical "cup of cheer" idea, though...
We shouldn't live in denial or project a falsely happy image while avoiding reality (I'm so sick of seeing that I could scream), but we can and should sincerely celebrate God's love and goodness everywhere we see them! There is always something we can be thankful for, and we can choose to be present enough to notice and drink in the cheer and goodness and beauty all around us, even as we acknowledge the painful realities and have grace for those who are hurting (including ourselves in that grace when we're feeling low).
Hmm, well, I rambled on and didn't really tie all that up with a neat little bow, but whatever, I don't have the mental energy for it. lol My original thought was basically that the same way certain widespread, commonly used chemicals can poison and damage our physical bodies, certain socially acceptable thoughts and ideas we consume have a toxic and destructive effect on our souls (which are more valuable than our bodies). And we have to be so vigilant about guarding our hearts and choosing to fix our minds on what is pure and true and good. (Philippians 4:8)
On a final note here, if you are in the middle of a hard season right now, then I strongly encourage you to watch the video below. It's Matt Chandler reflecting on his own cancer experience ten years after being diagnosed. I've listened to it three times now and found it extremely helpful. ❤
