This semester, I'm learning a lot about how poor body image triggers disordered eating, and how safe relationships lead to better body image. It always comes back to relationships.
Wood-Barcalow, et al. (2010) emphasize the relational component, noting:
"Students stated their positive body image stemmed from unconditional acceptance from significant others... They intentionally sought others who offer unconditional acceptance and who have a positive body image, which helped them maintain their positive body image. They did not merely avoid disordered eating, but additionally listened to their bodies by making healthy food choices, responding to hunger and satiety cues, and not overeating and/or restricting to cope with stress and negative emotions. Not only did they report social support, they avoided people who focus on weight and appearance-related issues, choosing instead to surround themselves with others who espouse a positive body image. They had family members who emphasized inner strengths and taught them that their worth... was more important than their appearance. They often felt unconditional love and support also associated with their religion and/or spirituality. Not only did they have self-esteem, they felt their inner positivity radiated to their outer appearance and were more optimistic, confident, comfortable, happy, and liberated."
Both personally and professionally, the importance of healthy relationships for building better mental and physical health really cannot be overstated.
For the record, positive body image does NOT mean embracing being overweight or being dismissive of sin issues. I'm not advocating for that. What it means for me is being grateful for the way God has designed my body and choosing to take care of myself from a place of valuing myself and believing I deserve to be at my healthiest and to not quit on myself and my goals. So it means vibrant energy + hope and gratitude over shame-based thinking. And daily healthy choices over pressure to hit a certain scale number on a specific day, a balance that's not an easy thing for me.
My "board of empowerment" is Peloton-heavy for good reason. Peloton was the first place where I consistently and repeatedly heard positive, empowering messages focused on strength, know-your-worth confidence, self-acceptance, connection (the "we are a team in this together" vibe is strong with Peloton), and building the best version of yourself by getting stronger and healthier. That fun, positive energy coupled with the endorphin-boost that comes with working out means a lot to me, and it stands in stark contrast to the more familiar shame-based, image-centered messages focused on weight loss and appearance... which have a wider ripple effect of damage than most people would ever imagine. The hopeful part is, that damage is reversible - and the ripple effect of my words and my presence can be positive rather than damaging for others, so it's very worth working for that!
This month, I want to focus on internalizing and modeling a more positive body image, pressing into Jesus and into my healthiest relationships with people who offer unconditional love and support without weight commentary and/or judgey disapproval vibes, approaching food and working out from a holistic viewpoint (building a strong mind, body, soul, and spirit), and emphasizing inner strengths and inherent worth over physical appearance! All easier said than done in today's image-obsessed American culture. This really is an area where I've faced a lot of shame and darkness and damage, but "everything that is illuminated becomes a light." So I am praying for the light of Christ to shine here and clarify things for me so that I can move forward with breaking down strongholds and being an empowering voice of hope in this area!! ❤
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