Musical Musings

A quick cheers to The Greatest Showman, my favorite musical of all time.  There is not a costume, casting decision, song lyric, or piece of that story that I would change.  The character development in that early song where he and Charity gradually move from children with a crush to adults expecting a child - masterfully done, a story that was believable and well-paced.  I was worried that there would be a moment later in the movie where it all fell apart, but every song was fantastic, and the lyrics are moving and uplifting.  For me, that was a genuinely transcendent movie theater experience! ❤

So I saw West Side Story in theaters yesterday.  It was my first time seeing any version of that film or play, and I'm glad to have seen it... so many Will & Grace references that I understand better now! lol  I think it's pretty cool that Rita Moreno (the star of the 1961 film) also got to play a role in this new version.  I never knew that I Feel Pretty and There's a Place for Us were from that play, so that was lovely!  There were beautiful costumes and sets and a couple fantastic songs, but overall, their star-crossed lovers story was painfully absurd to me, as most obsessive-infatuation-pretending-to-be-love at first sight plots tend to be.  They went from zero to 300 in the span of a 30-second dance, and the obsessive lyrics were very cringe to me: You're the only thing I'll see forever. In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do, nothing else but you, ever! And there's nothing for me but Maria; every sight that I see is Maria. Tony, Tony, only you. Every thought I'll ever know, everywhere I go you'll be.  All the world is only you and me.  Ick.  She has a good voice, but I just never enjoy the crazy-high-pitched soprano songs... and the lack of character development or real connection in the story was very problematic throughout the film.

Sadly, the plot and lyrics got worse from there.  There's a scene that apparently wasn't meant to be funny where the lead actor tears up as five of his gangster friends one by one say the word "pow" and make gun motions at him with their hands, after they all play a ridiculous game of keep-away with a loaded gun.  There is a great deal of moronic racism that escalates in a way that's hard to believe, even for racism, all culminating in a jets vs. sharks fight scene that's almost as dumb and intense as the “boy, that escalated quickly” parody of it in Anchorman.  Lots of angry guys (armed with chains, bats, pipes, knives, and a gun) having a slow, awkward musical fight where somehow only their two leaders end up dying (spoiler alert, I guess, if that’s necessary on a 1960s story). 

"When love comes so strong, there is no right or wrong. Your love is your life."  Maria belts out that dangerous falsity right after begging her beloved-guy-she-met-yesterday to stay and sleep with her rather than turning himself in for literally stabbing her brother to death.  Urrrm, YIKES.  Her brother's widow is in the midst of sobbing with grief on the day she found out her man was murdered, and Maria responds to her pain by belting out a love song about the guy who killed him:  "I love him. I'm his. We're one, and there's nothing to be done!"  I cannot even with that scene, or with Tony eventually being carried off Gladiator-style like he's some noble hero who saved Rome.  (P.S. How great is Gladiator!?)  So yeah, anyway, I guess it’s just that my favorite musicals involve less racism, murder, obsessive infatuation, suicide threats, and near gang rape.  But of course, this Spielberg remake will win all the freaking awards, whilst they snub enchanting original gems like The Greatest Showman, because that's how Hollywood rolls.

**Other musicals I sincerely appreciate include Hamilton (also completely brilliant from start to finish), Sound of Music (my original favorite), Pitch Perfect, Mamma Mia, and Lion King.  Although I strongly prefer the animated movie or the 2019 remake to the Broadway play on that last one.

Having thoroughly considered my former stance on that, I don't think it was based on a bad mood.  If anything, I was hanging out with two of my favorite people and I was ecstatic to finally be sitting down -- so I was poised for a transcendent theater experience!  And indeed, the story and the music and lyrics were fantastic, as they always have been.  And I fully understand that they worked hard on designing the costumes and headpieces.

But I mean, honestly...in my 2010-self's defense... a crazy woman holding a fairly creepy eyeless lion doll whilst two people with upturned lion headdresses celebrate and rejoice behind her really fails to capture this epic family moment and the power of the presentation of the new king for me.

A joy-filled Simba and Nala reunion... or a human couple embracing whilst angry, glassy-eyed lions devour them headfirst? lol  The lifeless eyes of the masks or headdresses or headbands was a continual problem for me.

This springy version of the masks was not any better.  It's supposed to be two fierce lions engaging, but it felt more like six-year-old boys in lion masks saying, "Roar, I’m gonna get you!!"

And then we have the famous antelope headgear and arm-bands, with the actors doing loads of arm circles to animate them and make it seem like the animals are leaping.  Cut to Malori and Chet tearing up, completely mesmerized by this opening scene, whilst I'm quietly laughing and wishing the animated version could be playing on a screen above them. lol

And in maybe the strangest scene to me, here we have Mufasa and Simba quietly removing their lion headpieces for a few minutes to have a playful fight followed by a nice chat, and then wordlessly popping them back on as if misplacing their heads was a perfectly normal thing to do. Cut to me looking truly baffled while no one else questioned this temporary beheading.

Anyway, it's not that I'm a crazy cynic.  I FULLY appreciate the lyrics and the great singing and acting talent and the story of the play itself - all epic - and if others were acknowledging these costumes as kinda cheesy, I'd be more on board, but most reviewers are calling them an artistic masterpiece.  And I just can't get past the headbands feeling a bit more like kids playing a silly jungle game than an appropriate costume for an epic Broadway play.  But clearly, I'm in the very small minority on that! lol

Mmkay, I'm done.  That's all the musical musings I have for you today.  And here's a funny Lion King related meme to end on.  I did a spit take the first time I heard him say, "My cousin, Mufasa..." lol

 Happy Sunday, friends! ❤